Page 18 of Blinded By Love

“I need to go to the bathroom anyway. We’ll go together,” I say, as we walk out of the living room.

“Okay. We’ll actually go upstairs to try and find Hayden after.” Hearing his name makes butterflies flutter in my stomach but I try to ignore it. Natalia pours herself another shot of vodka. She downs the shot before wincing and shakes her head lightly. “Okay, let’s go.”

We walk upstairs, more like Natalia stumbles while I just hold her against me to make sure she doesn’t fall.

We find the bathroom down the hallway. Natalia waits outside while I do my business. I check the time and it’s midnight. I grab the Lantus out of my bag and prepare the needle for giving myself the units in my butt.

I keep the needle in my bag and wash my hands.

Natalia is still waiting outside for me when I get out.

She is on the phone with Chris, smiling while talking to him, making my heart ache because I wish I could have something like that.

It’s so hard to find someone to love because it always has to be so complicated and I always end up wondering if I’m the problem.

“Jaclyn’s back so we’re going to go find Hay.” Chris says something from the other end of the line but I can’t hear because of the music downstairs and from how loud people are talking from the rooms upstairs. “Love you, too. I will.” she says before hanging up and looking at me.

“Where’s Hayden?” I ask, desperately just wanting to go back downstairs then trying to find him.

“Probably playing some party game to find a girl to hook up with. Let’s go.” She grabs my hand and pulls me downstairs.

The crowd of people are still dancing and the music is still blaring.

I expect it to be less crazy at this time but people are still dancing like the night is young. Natalia holds onto my hand as we make our way past many people.

We pass the kitchen and walk towards the hallway. Many doors are closed so we peak through to find Hayden. Some doors were locked and some were occupied with people doing some sort of drugs. Natalia would say sorry before blowing a kiss and closing the door.

I laugh because I love her reaction to that.

She opens the last door in the hallway and she peaks her head and says, “There you are!”

She pulls me through the door and my eyes immediately go to Hayden who is leaning back in a chair with a red solo cup in his hand. His eyes connect with mine before traveling down my body. Shivers go down my spine and I lift my head up to make sure he knows he doesn’t affect me. Hayden tilts his head to the side while assessing me.

I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking.

Hayden is wearing a black graphic tee with black washed denim jeans. A white bandana hangs from out of his pocket and I’m guessing that’s just an accessory.

“What are you doing here?” Hayden asks Natalia, but his eyes would go to me every other second.

Everyone in the room is staring at the three of us while we talk, making me blush.

I hate how we’re the center of everyone’s attention and that all eyes are on us.

“Are you driving tonight?” Natalia asks Hayden.

“Yea. I was trying to find Max since he’s here but I can’t seem to find that idiot. He needs a ride home,” Hayden explains.

“I’ll try to find him,” Natalia says but before she can turn around and grab my hand again, Hayden speaks up.

“Jaclyn, you want to play while Natalia finds Max?” Hayden asks, his eyes going to me.

Fire breaks out onto my skin as he stares at me with that same look he did in the hallway.

It’s playful and challenging.

And I want to show him that his games don't bother me.

I look around the room, looking at everyone who is in a circle. There is a bottle in the middle of the circle and I already know it’s some game that’s going to make people question what the hell they were even doing in this room.