Page 46 of Sweet Temptation
Once I'm settled in my seat, I gaze around the room. I flip through my notes before eying the professor at the front of the room. It feels weird being back here, especially with my new knowledge.
"You worried about something?" Bailey whispers beside me.
I shake my head and force a smile. I hadn't even told her what I was thinking about the night at Ricky's, and it stays that way till I find the courage to tell Damon about it.
Closing my eyes briefly, I open them again before looking down at the notes on my desk. I might get myself killed by telling him, but in the end, it takes two…
I can't do this, sitting here, acting like school is the biggest problem in my life when that isn't the case. Scrambling to grab all my things, I shove them back into my bag before eying Bailey quickly.
"Grab me the assignment. I can't do this," I whisper to my friend. Disappearing down the staircase to the door, I slip out and rush for the exit of the building.
Calling an Uber, I gaze around the parking lot, once again closing my eyes with humiliation. This couldn't be happening to me. Could it? Shaking the thoughts from my head, I open my eyes before quickly stepping into the car as it pulls up beside the curb.
Laying my head against the window, I slam my eyes shut as I play over Damon's reaction when I finally tell him. If something's going to go wrong there, it's Damon.
Flicking my eyes open, I unbuckle my seatbelt as the car comes to a stop at Damon's condo. I shove a fake smile on my lips as I make my way to the steps and rush up them. Stumbling forward, my phone rings in my bag. I reach for it, quickly checking the name.
Harley. He doesn't call me; he never calls me. I call him. "Hello?" I say into the receiver as I enter the condo. I hear sobs in the background and my heart sinks. Something is wrong.
They aren't my brother's cries… It's Georgina, my stepmother.
"Harley… what's going on?" I whisper, kicking my boots off and standing between the kitchen counter and the sofa, where the boys are playing games.
"He's gone. Dad's gone." His voice sounds like metal as Georgina cries harder in the background.
I feel my entire body shut down. My phone falls from my hands, clattering to the floor. My knees slam into the hard wood as the sobs wrack out of my body in waves. I can't feel, I can't feel anything.
The air in my lungs doesn't exist. Someone's arms wrap around my body, but I don't register what's going on.
My mind has shut down. My organs feel like they already have. My lungs are suffocating me. I don't want to even be alive anymore. I can't be alive. Is this what death is like? The arms that wrapped around my body have now carried me off somewhere.
I can hear urgent voices that sound so far away. My heart is cracked. I can't feel it. I don't feel it. I might as well already be dead if I can't breathe or feel anything.
It feels like I'm in a faraway place. I can't… I can't. "Hanna! Hanna!" someone shouts close by. My eyes flutter and I realise I'm not dead. I'm in Damon's room. The phone call with Harley is still fresh in my mind. My dad's dead… The sobs return, and I cry so hard my heart hurts. Damon's beside me before I can think.
"Cinderella," he whispers and pulls me into his arms.
I close my eyes as the tears stain my cheeks. "I just… I just… don't want to feel any-anymore. I just—" I curl up in his arms, my eyes slamming shut again as the darkness pulls me back in.
TWENTY-SIX
Crawling out of bed this morning after Hanna found out her dad died last night was more effort for me than I thought it would be. Pulling a T-shirt over my head, I run my fingers through my hair and make my way to the dresser.
I dealt with my dad's death, but not the way I should have. I was forced by my mother to do things I shouldn't have. I should have got to say goodbye and mourn my father first.
Yet that isn't how it played out, and that's why I don't know how to love. But I do know I have to be there for her. She's drowning in grief, and I can't do anything but be there for her.
She needs her rest, especially with her brother coming to town tomorrow to see her. Hanna has a funeral to go to in New York, and I am determined to attend with her.
Someone lightly knocks on the bedroom door. "Damon."
Quickly pulling it open, I shove my fingers to my lips and shoot Sam a glare. My lips are in a thin line when I see his face.
I'm really not in the mood for anyone. "She needs rest, be quiet," I reply, buttoning my jeans before following him down the stairs to the kitchen. We have hockey games, of all things today, and my mind isn't even in it. I want to stay here and be here for her.
Sighing, I chug back one of my boosts, running my fingers through my dark hair, before shoving a beanie over my dark waves. I promised Ace I'd be there, and I can't break that promise.
Closing my eyes briefly, I slide my Princeton hockey jacket on and follow the boys out to the car. With my head leaning against the window, my mind travels off again.
