Page 17 of Rebel Romeo

“Erik,” I try his name out, tasting it like a new flavor of candy and immediately cringe. “Hell no. That feels weird.”

“Regardless, don't you dare talk that way,” Jill scolds me. “You have fought Holden’s dad in the past and you can do it again."

I fiddle with the remote control on the coffee table. “Yeah, I fought him and I lost. I was lucky to graduate from that school with my soul, let alone my degree. By the end of my freshman year, he had McCay and that whole program in the palm of his hands. Even without Senator Dorsey, I think McCay would have been happy to kick me out of the program freshman year.”

Jill comes back in holding two steaming mugs and sits so that she's only a few inches away from me on the couch. “But she didn’t. That’s what matters. You were so damn talented that she knew cutting you from the program would be impossible without raising any red flags.” She hands me one of them mugs. “Even though she hated you since the moment you found Keith feeling her up in the janitor’s closet?—”

“This really isn’t helping,” I grumble.With the mug of much-needed caffeine cradled in my hands, I leaned my head on my best friend’s shoulder.

I take a sip, and the coffee is so strong that it eases some of my stress away. For most people, drinking coffee in the evening might be a bad idea. But for me, it's the only time of day I can really enjoy it without worrying about what the dairy will do to my voice.

“I had just as much dirt on Professor McKay as she had on me,” I said. “The fact that she was sleeping with her grad student was enough to get her fired.” And that was nothing compared to the other secrets I’d uncovered about her throughout my freshman year. “But that didn’t stop her from making my life hell so that I would quit the department.”

Sounds pretty familiar. History repeating itself and all that.

“Well you showed her.” Jill reaches across and squeezes my knee.

“Yeah. Look at me. I really stuck it to her, huh?” I snort a self-deprecating laugh.

“Okay, but you didn't quit,” Jill says. “You put up with four years of misery dealing with her. And Missy is no McCay. She’s not smart enough to be as diabolical as your old professor. Besides, this time it’s only for a few weeks until the show opens, right? Then you don’t have to see the producers once the show is up and running.”

“That’s true.”

“You did it before for years… you can do this again for a few weeks.”

I nod, even though I’m not sure that’s true. Those four years nearly broke me. A few more weeks just might.

“Besides, you don't really know what was in McCay’s head back then. You’re just making assumptions.”

I shrug and after another sip of coffee, I set the mug down on the table. “And I never will.”

Jill’s eyes flash and she whips around to face me, tucking her feet under her. "Why not? Why can't you reach out and ask her why she was so damn hard on you in undergrad?”

"Are you crazy? I never want to see that woman again if I can help it.”

"Is that realistic? I mean, you’re on Broadway now with her golden boy student. It seems probable that she’ll come see this show. His directorial debut?—”

“And I’ll suck just as much at being vulnerable on stage now as I did back then.” I groan and flop over on the couch.

Jill’s brows lift. “Isn’t this why Holden gave you his journals from college?”

“I guess. Or maybe it was his copout way of trying to apologize without actually apologizing.” When he gave me his journal from college on my first day of rehearsal to read as ‘preparation for my role as Skyler’ I wondered what questions it would hold the answers to. But the emotional weight of reading his innermost thoughts from our time together was harder than I’d expected. I’ve been having trouble reading more than one entry every night.

I kick my feet up on the table and stretch my legs out. “I have more important things to worry about than McCay. I need to find a way to visit my dad.”

“Missy said she was going to help.”

I snort. “Yeah. That’s what she said.”

"We still haven't talked about the other elephant in the room."

I curl into the corner of the couch and hug my knees to my chest. "What elephant?” I can feel her stare on the side of my face, and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I know she’s still sitting there glaring at me.

“You know what elephant. The handsome, sexy, larger than life elephant named Holden James.”

"What about him?"

“I thought you two were back together... or at least on your way to getting back together.”

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