Page 10 of Rebel Romeo

He grabs my hand and holds it tightly within his. “Katherine, Focus.”

Katherine.

My name on his lips is a balm for my soul.

“I need you to get back in the scene with Nolan,” he continues. “To put aside whatever is going on in your life and focus.”

“Even if it’s you?” I whisper, then lift my gaze slowly to glare back at him. “Even if you are whatever is going on in my life?”

His gaze is steady. Unflinching. “Yes. Even then.”

Emotion rises in my throat, clogging it. “What if I can’t pretend that I don’t have feelings for you? That I don’t know exactly how you like your coffee? That I haven’t stayed awake just to watch you sleep or that this little line of stress appears when you’re deep in thought.” I reach up to run my fingertips across the crease in his forehead.

For the briefest moment, Holden’s eyes drift closed and he leans into my touch, a shiver clenching his body. And despite everything, despite how utterly pissed off I am, I still find myself wanting to lean forward, close the gap between us, and kiss him.

Shuffling and noise from the stage tells me that Maggie and Nolan are wrapping up their first aid and Holden pulls back from me, abruptly, his voice harder than his jawline. “You have to, Katherine. You have to move on from me.”

“And what if I… what if … I-I… can’t.” The words are short and breathless coming from me. I’m not sure what a panic attack feels like, but I’m pretty sure I’m having one right now.

Holden glides his hand in reassuring strokes up and down my forearm. “Breathe with me, Katherine. Come on. You can do this. In, two, three, four…”

My heart slams into my ribcage as I attempt to inhale with him.

“Hold, two, three, four,” he says, repeating my own breathing exercise back to me that I’d taught him years ago.

I blink as a blurry Missy comes into view from over his shoulder. She still sits in the front row, sipping her Diet Coke, with her eyes trained right onto me.

Onto us.

Glaring with hatred.

“Out, two, thre–”

“No.” I wrench my hand out of his grasp and even though I’m still a little lightheaded, I step away from him. “Are you seriously walking me through the exact breathing exercise I taught you?”

I want to add, In front of your judgy girlfriend? But at the last minute, I decide not to. How the hell am I supposed to act in this show with Holden as my director while she’s here scrutinizing my every move?

Holden’s expression sinks, genuinely confused. “You said that breathing exercise worked for you. That you would use it to center?—”

“Well, that was years ago,” I snap. “A lot has changed.”

“Clearly.” Holden’s nostrils flare and he pulls his hands away from me, clamping them to his hips. “Look, I don’t care how you do it, but pull yourself together and get back out there. I’ll give you until the time it takes us to finish getting Nolan bandaged up.”

He storms past me, his shoulder knocking into mine as he stalks away.

As he disappears off the stage, I don’t feel strong and independent. I don’t feel like I gave him any piece of my mind. I feel like I’m right back to being the eighteen year old virgin again, chasing after the guy who’s so far out of my league, we’re not even playing the same sport.

CHAPTER FIVE

All in all, the rest of rehearsal goes fairly smoothly considering how bad the first half was. I’ve certainly had worse, both within this show and outside of it.

I even manage to ignore Missy, even though she’s in the front row and interjects her opinions constantly.

Should she really stand there?

Will Kate be in heels? She’s so much shorter than Nolan.

She’s going to need highlights before opening. The stage lights really dull her hair color.

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