Page 45 of To Hell

“I will…” He swings his eyes to my materials. “I will leave you to it.” He clears his throat. He is about to stand, but I lounge quickly, pulling him by a small pinch of his slacks.

I’m shaking so hard my bones hurt. The courage it’s taking to do this feels like the same kind of energy it would take to power the entire world.

“No. Stay, please.” I whisper to myself but it’s loud enough for him to hear me. I just want his company for a few more seconds, and I will be good. “Please.” I gulp loudly.

He moves and I flinch, shrinking in fear at the thought of him kicking me in the ribcage for my audacity.

“You have to stop,” I jump as he growls. “Stop it, Zoe.” His voice turns soft and then he settles, this time putting his knee on the floor while crouching. “I will never hit you, ever,” he drawls it like it’s an oath, and I believe him, but I do not have any hold against these things. I do not know how to control my emotions when they go haywire.

“I know,” I nod, letting go of his slacks. I crane my head and hold his gaze.

“Do you need me to ask them to get you anything?” The concern in his dark eyes contradicts everything I have thought of him as a man, “Water, soda, or anything at all?”

“No…” I shake my head.

“You want nothing?” He dips his head, and I drop my eyes from the sultriness of his. “You want something,” he croons, “Ask.”

It’s a command.

“You won’t give it to me,” mine is a shaky whisper.

“Ask, Zoe,” his voice is a body thrumming coo.

“I… I want…” You. But instead of letting the word slip out with the sentence, I sit forward and press my lips against his.

I draw back and drop my head.

“I’m sorry,” I scamper on all fours, drawing back, and bowing my head. “I’m sorry.”

He groans, and then, with one of his hands gripping the side of my neck and the other burrowing into my hair, he jerks my head up.

“Don’t bloody do that around me,” he spits the words out.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s going to take me a while but even then, I might never be able to change certain things. A leopard cannot lose its stripes. Zoe cannot lose her scars.

“I told you we can’t fuck anymore,” he breathes the raspy words on my lips, “I can’t have you that way, Zoe,” he is onto a different thing from what he is saying as he swipes his tongue across my cheek and suckles when he gets to my cheekbone. “I can’t have you the way I truly want to,” his grip on my hair gets tighter and I take it that he is referring to something else entirely.

He breathes me while the hand holding my neck tightens and drops down into my sweater to pull one of my breasts out.

My fear mixes with arousal and I’m like a ticking euphoric bomb.

“But I can give you something,” he twirls my hard nipple between his index finger and thumb.

“Open your legs, Zoe,” he croaks into my ear, and the fire in his breath sizzles through the funnel to my brain, frying it. “Take your fingers to your pussy and fuck yourself for me,” he licks down my face like I’m the best dessert ever made, making a vibrating sound that prickles my skin with arousal and swells my pussy.

I do as told. I sit better, planting my feet on the floor, and spreading my legs apart so one of his legs is between mine. I take my fingers under my skirt and clip my clit between them, then start to swirl.

His wish is my command. He doesn’t have to force it.

The feeling of being watched by him is electrifying I feel like I will split open. Like my skin will break apart or I will disintegrate. He pinches my nipple, slams his mouth against mine to swallow the whimpering moan that gushes out of me, then stabs his tongue down my throat, kissing me like I am all there is.

My pussy clenches as my orgasm whirls too quickly from the intensity of it all. His strong scent, his mouth ravaging mine, his fingers playing with my breast, the sharp pain from his grip on my hair, his groans reverberating in my stomach, my body exploding because he is just too much.

I pinch my clit and break apart, my orgasm slamming through me. I writhe—shaky gasps and the shuddering, wanton straddling of my fingers until I clamber back to stillness.

He slows the kiss, lets go of my hair, groans, and stands. His erection solid, shifted to one side of his slacks. He burns me up with his hooded gaze as I stay exposed and still burning for him if he would have me.

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