Page 75 of The Sidekick

I shake my head. Once he hears this insanity, he’s going to change his mind.

“I just see food and get angry now. Like it’s all an innocent chip's fault that I’m not good enough.”

He sucks in a sharp breath and holds it as his fists clench.

“I’m getting better,” I try to reassure him, but he won’t let go of me enough to let me see his face. “It’s just really easy to lose it when someone brings it up.”

“Have you talked to Dr. Robinson about this?” He asks, and his voice is choked up with some unidentified emotion.

“Kind of? I feel like it’s really dumb, and I don’t want her to stop seeing me because I’m so weird.”

“Ok,” he clears his throat, lets me go, and slaps my leg as he stands. “I’m going to call Dr. Robinson and set up a chat real quick. Don’t be afraid to talk to her because what you’re going through is not stupid. You knew to get help before and know it now, so I’m not letting this one go. Bestie tax, you’re doing this. For me, because I’m not sure how to help you through this one. I have to get back to work now. When she calls, be sure to answer.”

“It’s after her hours, Shade. Don’t bother her. I’ll call in the morning.” I’m totally lying. I can’t think of much else I don’t want to do. Although, telling Shade and having him not laugh in my face has been reassuring.

“We’ll see.” He gives me a tight smile and heads to the door before pausing and taking another deep breath, releasing it slowly.

“I love you like a sister, you know,” he says casually without facing me. “You’re an amazing person. I just need to be a bit better at saying that.”

He doesn’t wait for me to reply as he closes the door softly behind him.

“You can’t say stuff that makes me cry and leave you jerk! Your emotional support sucks!” My voice breaks a few times as I get the words out between sobs.

“Sorry, can’t hear you!” He calls back, and I struggle to hold back my reluctant laugh.

He’s the most awesome, worst bestie ever.

Babygirl,

You asked everyone else what’s wrong with you. I made a list.

Nothing.

Fucking nothing.

Fuck this.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Tera

“I feel awesome when I am nourished, and I deserve to feel that way,” I say quietly and unclasp my hands from the weird prayer position I’ve taken over my cheeseburger.

Shade ignores me as he looks around the restaurant, expecting an attack from random strangers I guess. He’s paranoid today.

Right after he left last night, Dr. Robinson called, and I did pick up the phone. I’m delighted I did, too. She was a great help and didn’t make me feel dumb about it at all. My food affirmation worked this morning at breakfast, even if it was just a granola bar. And now lunch looks delicious.

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