Page 118 of The Sidekick

He lapses back into silence while I drive aimlessly, worry and nausea churning around inside me. We’re both on a seesaw. When I go up, he goes down. There has to be a way for us to hold each other steady.

My eyes narrow on the road with anger. Several plans start popping into my head to be dismissed quickly. I’m done with this. But, if Shade isn’t, all the planning in the world won’t matter.

“I’ve been thinking about asking for a transfer.”

I suck in a surprised breath as my heart sinks. He’s going to run.

“Out of town?”

He glances at me as I chew my lip. I am not this man’s problem. I am an adult and able to take care of myself. This shouldn’t be a big deal. If it were a year ago, I’d wish him all the best with a sunny smile. Now I know what I would be missing, and it sucks. I’m starting to hate those jerks.

“I don’t know anymore,” he frowns as he watches me.

“Do not let my overly emotional butt keep you from being happy, Evan. Do you understand me? You focus on you. I can do all this bullcrap by myself, and we both know it. I’ll help you with anything you need.”

He nods slightly, a pensive frown still in place, and returns to looking sadly out the window.

I am going to mess these guys up so bad they won’t know what hit them.

Babygirl,

I signed up for anger management. I have to sit around and talk about what pisses me off. How does that help? It pisses me off more. I want to talk to you about it, but I’m still on the shit list. What can I do to get off of it? Tell me, and I’ll do it.

Chapter Forty-Three

Asher

I’m driving aimlessly as my brain works overtime. Now that I know what it’s like to actually touch her, the obsession has gotten worse. I don’t want to stop any more or hold myself back.

This is going to take some work. She wasn’t wrong about that. I’m more than ready to start. I don’t want to make the mistakes that Max and Trevor have made with her. I feel like I only have one shot, and I need to figure out what I’m doing.

I need to meet up with Max and tell him I’ve met her and I’m in. I’m not going to let either of them do any more damage to her, and if they try, I will put a stop to that shit immediately. I don’t want to embarrass her or speak for her when I see them, but I’m not going to sugarcoat how I feel.

I can see her with Max. The two of them would get into enough trouble that I’d need bail money saved for emergencies. She wouldn’t let him go to jail by himself. When I grin at that thought, I know I’m in trouble.

Max will be ecstatic over this, Trevor not so much. Too fucking bad.

I pull over in the first parking lot I see and pull out my phone. I’m not putting this off. We need to be at least on speaking terms before I confess that I met her. I need to tell her that I know Max. That’s the more difficult confession. I don’t care what Max and Trevor think. I only care what Tera thinks.

In hindsight, my sister prepared me for a poly scenario, trying to urge me to broaden my horizons and stop focusing on one person. Even when I told her there wasn’t one person, much less multiple, just like I told Max. Her response had always been, “Exactly.”

I bite the bullet and start texting. I’m too giddy to call him.

It wounded my ego when she refused the one-on-one sessions before. I didn’t know she was trying to keep me from knowing that she wants me, too. She said I’m lickable.

Me: This is Asher. We need to meet up.

Max: Tonight? Trevor mandatory. No getting out of it.

Me:Good.

Max: Awesome. Around 10? Bar outside of town called Bittersweet Outpost.

It’s just past three now, so it gives me plenty of time to work out what I need to get out of them and what I need to say.

Me: I’ll be there.

I sit in the car, going back and forth with scenarios and how they could play out. I typed out that I couldn’t go three times, deleting it over and over.

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