Page 117 of The Sidekick

“Can I change your mind about the one-on-one sessions?” He asks with a rasp to his voice that makes me shiver.

“That will end badly,” I mutter without thinking. “Your tattoos are too lickable.”

My eyes pop open in horror. I did not just say that. Oh no.

He lets me go, revealing a bright grin that surprises me. My face is on fire with embarrassment. I slap a hand over my mouth, wishing I could scoop the words back in and swallow them.

He backs up a few steps before turning with a, “I’ll see you tomorrow, angel.”

It sounds vaguely threatening and makes my knees shake.

When I finally pull myself away from watching Asher’s butt, I spot Shade standing on the mats staring at the door. I figured he would have left me behind as usual. I’m about to tease him when his expression registers. Any pleasure I felt a second ago is washed out like I took a cold shower.

“Shade?”

It’s like he doesn’t hear me, and dread builds in my chest. What happened while I wasn’t paying attention? I’m a horrible sidekick.

“Hey,” I jog over and stand in front of him. His face is its usual non-caring mask, but his eyes are devastated. He has such expressive eyes. Guilt slams into me while I debate how to handle this. It’s not an angry, keep his mouth occupied situation. He seems broken, and I need to figure out how to hold him together.

“Not here,” he mutters and turns to collect his things. I help by packing away the computer and take his arm as we walk out. He doesn’t slap my hand away, so I’ll stop touching him, which is scarily not right. I don’t like this. I feel like he needs a buffer so people can’t get to him.

“Give me the keys. I’m driving,” I tell him quietly. He doesn’t protest as he digs them out of his gym bag and places them in my waiting hand.

This just got extra serious. No one drives Shade’s car.

Once I open the door for him and help him inside like he’s a debutante, I slide behind the wheel and get us moving.

“They never believed me. This whole time.”

His muttered words catch my attention, but I stay quiet. He does more venting like this when he feels safe. I don’t say anything, letting him talk it out.

“I’ve been one of the team for six years, Tera. Six. And they still don’t trust me to have their backs.”

He’s looking out the passenger window as he speaks quietly.

He’s so sad. It’s like he’s suddenly given up, and there’s no fight left in him. My dictator is relinquishing his title. It’s unacceptable.

“Explain it to me. I was distracted,” I admit sheepishly.

“They think I’m going to spill inside information to you. Because we’re obviously sleeping together.”

“What?” I squeak out in surprise. I thought he explained all about that weeks ago. They didn’t get it? Max believed it after one text. The twins were who he was texting!

“I was testing a hunch I had. Something has been off ever since we got together. Then they want to try and be friends with you and treat you the same as before. I had you work on the code in front of them, but I was really showing them that you’re interested in Asher, not me.”

Does everyone know? My cheeks heat as my shoulders hunch.

“Ira thought you were doing something from work,” he says with a snarl.

“You’d never involve me in all of that,” I protest.

His head swivels to take in my disbelief.

I know my adopted big brother. He’s a jerk and a dictator. But a sweet dictator and a well-meaning jerk. He would never allow me to witness something he thought was dangerous.

“And you accept it. Just like that. I’ve been on that team for six years, Tera. They never believe a word out of my mouth, even when it’s shut. Six fucking years I’ve been with these guys, and they still think I’d stab them in the back. Even with me saying I didn’t and trying to explain. Even when I’m in love with two of them, and I don’t even know why anymore. Ira made sure to point out you and Asher while we were fighting to prove that you aren’t trustworthy. Anything I tell you is going to get spilled everywhere, according to him.”

They still don’t know that I know everything. I probably know more than they do about Shade’s work and his life. Shade has already told me, and I haven’t told a soul. I never will.

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