Page 96 of Forever and Other Lies

Tommy blinked. “Damn, you are so dense! The point is that you’re in love with her.”

Now he did grunt.

“You are, Derek! Stop fighting it and start fighting for her.”

“I wouldn’t have a clue where to start.”

“Start by being honest. Tell her how you feel. It wouldn’t hurt to apologize for being such a jackass.”

Why did his brothers keep pushing him to admit his feelings and to apologize?

“I hurt the people who love me. I can’t be depended on.” Derek inhaled a deep breath and let it out through his nose. “I bailed on you. I hurt you. I left you all alone.”

Tommy stared at him for several long moments. “Derek, you need to let go of the guilt. It is not your fault that I was held captive.”

He shook his head, grimacing. “If I had been there, I could have protected you.”

Tommy pressed his lips together. “Or you could have died in the blast. Derek, it’s not your fault that you weren’t there.”

“But it was my stupid idea to enlist in the first place.”

“You were twelve when you came up with it. We had just joined the army cadets. I thought it was a great idea, too. But you lost interest, I didn’t. I really wanted to join the army, to do something great. I didn’t sign up because I thought you were joining too. I enlisted because I wanted to!”

Derek closed his eyes, absorbing his brother’s words.

“Derek, I chose to go. I have come to terms with it. Despite the horror of those 3 years, it has helped shape me into the man I am today. And I don’t want it to destroy the man you could be. We have already lost too much, don’t let it take any more years from us. From you.”

He nodded. His brother was right. He needed to let go of the guilt. Tommy had forgiven him, now he just had to forgive himself. When he thought his brother had been killed, a piece of himself had crumbled and died that day. He had encased what was left of his heart in ironclad armor, so it couldn’t be hurt anymore. It was time to remove the shield.

“I think Jayna is the one woman, no, make that the only woman who could put up with you. If you let her go, then you are even more stupid than I gave you credit for.”

Derek shook his head, a slow smile lifting his lips. Tommy was right again. No one except Jayna would put up with his crap. No one understood him like she did. She had no problem calling him on his crap, then moving past it. Not many women would have been able to kick the shit out of their captor like Jayna had. She was truly an exceptional woman.

This feeling inside of him wasn’t going away. In fact, it kept growing. He wanted Jayna. He needed her. He wasn’t going to meet someone better. There wasn’t another woman like her. Obviously, he wasn’t going to get over her. If that was the case, then he needed to find a way to make this all right. He had a big decision to make and, like he did with all the big decisions in his life, he made it instantly.

“You’re right, Tommy.” Derek stood. “Let’s go.”

Tommy looked up. “Go where?”

“Ring shopping.”

“Ring shopping?”

“I need a ring if I’m going to propose.”

“Propose?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t mean to ask her to marry you.” Tommy’s mouth gaped open.

“I’m done wasting time.” He started walking up the hill. Tommy ran to catch up. The puppy raced past them both, barking excitedly.

“You can never take your time with anything. You’re so impulsive!” Tommy grabbed his arm. “Just start by asking her out to dinner. See where that leads.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed. “Are you saying that you think she’ll say no?”

“That’s not at all what I’m saying,” Tommy groaned. “I’m saying that you should date a bit first. Get to know each other better.”

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