Poor Lance had looked crestfallen to learn he’d been a pawn in their game. He’d almost felt sorry for the guy.
“Because he wasn’t you.” Her last words raced through his mind again. They had started his heart racing even faster.
Those words had also broken his heart.
He did not deserve them. He wasn’t worthy of them.
He wasn’t that guy.
He’d only disappoint her, and she’d already been through enough. Jayna deserved a man like Lance. A man to build a life with, who wouldn’t carelessly break her heart like he already had done so long ago.
However, Jayna didn’t want a relationship. Sure, she said she did. But the minute she’d gotten Lance, she had that ready-to-bolt look in her eyes. And it wasn’t because the guy had been a murder suspect; she’d had it before learning that. She was Jayna Date and Dash. And he was Two-Date Brennan.
She wasn’t that woman.
And he wasn’t that man.
Chapter 47
He wasn’t the man she’d given him credit for. He hadn’t followed the ambulance to the hospital, refusing to leave her bedside. It had been the next day before he’d finally shown up. Seeing him standing in the doorway of her room had caused hope to resurface, only to plunge again. He’d stood there so hesitantly, looking like he wasn’t sure if he should enter or flee.
Finally, he walked in and stopped at the end of her bed.
“How are you?” he’d asked politely.
“Fine,” she answered.
“Good.” He’d shifted from foot to foot.
“Derek!” She was not going to make small talk with him. Not after everything they’d been through.
He met her eyes. Too tired to keep pretending, she didn't bother to hide the hope that they could finally start something meaningful. But the sudden panic in his eyes made it clear that this was the last thing he wanted.
“I’m not trustworthy Jayna. I don’t deserve forgiveness or love. I break everything I touch. I will only hurt you.”
“You’re not afraid of hurting me,” she scoffed. “You’re afraid of letting me close. If you do, I might see something about you that I don’t like. You’re afraid that I’ll hurt you.”
His mouth dropped open, but no words came out.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Jayna,” he said, shaking his head.
This man was strung tighter than a drum. And he was pigheaded.
He didn’t feel worthy of her. That thought ripped her apart. The man who, by all appearances, seemed to have way too much confidence, felt unworthy. He didn’t believe he deserved love, so he pushed it away, keeping everyone at a distance.
She should have seen it right away. She was an expert at feeling that way.
It’s how she felt, too.
She was the poor little rich girl who no one loved. Jayna was lonely. And Derek was too.
The unloved who told the world that love was the last thing they wanted. When in truth, it was exactly what they craved.
“I’m in love with you,” she spoke words that had never passed her lips before.
He sucked in a loud, shocked breath. His lashes fanned his cheeks. He was using them as a shield, she realized.