Page 66 of Forever and Other Lies

The way he’d turned her down had been so cruel. But he’d been right to do it. He just shouldn’t have done it so carelessly.

She leaned back in her chair, staring at him. Was she being too hard on him? He’d been a teenager as well, trying to navigate those confusing, difficult years.

People make mistakes all the time. No one was perfect. However, for him to sit there and question why she was angry with him, like he had no clue, made her angry all over again. It made her want to make him pay, make him squirm.

“So, just what happened between you, Tommy, and Leighton?”

His jaw immediately clenched, and he shifted in his chair.

Mission accomplished.

“Nothing.”

“Right,” she snorted.

She’d been there during their teen years. She’d witnessed his obsession with Leighton. That’s what had broken her heart the most. It hadn’t been the replacement girl he’d shown up with the following weekend. No, that girl had meant nothing to him. But the way his eyes followed Leighton everywhere, the expression on his face when Leighton kissed Tommy—that had nearly destroyed her. She had offered Derek her heart, her virginity, and he had brushed it away like it was nothing. He preferred to pine over a girl he could never have rather than start a relationship with one who was pining over him.

Knowing Leighton’s side, Jayna was curious what Derek’s version would be. Would he even admit to it? Maybe he had conveniently forgotten about it as well.

He looked her straight in the eye. “I kissed Leighton at the harvest dance the night before Tommy went missing. Took what wasn’t mine to take.”

He simply stated it and continued to hold her stare. Her mouth dropped open, but words escaped her. She hadn’t expected such honesty from him.

“There is no name you can call me that I haven’t already called myself.” Something flashed through his eyes. If she hadn’t been staring so intently, she would have missed it. It had been a combination of shame and blame.

Her eyes narrowed. While he was being honest, she might as well keep pushing. “Do you still have feelings for Leighton?”

He smiled, a sad half-smile. “No, I don’t think my feelings were ever deeper than just an injured ego that she’d chosen Tommy over me.”

Well, now, that was a very honest answer that didn’t put him in the best light. Did the man even possess a heart?

“I’m really not a good guy, Jayna,” he continued, reading her mind again. “This bad boy, player act, isn’t an act. It’s who I am.”

He leaned his elbows on the table, closing off the distance between them. “I’m the guy who betrayed his brother. His twin, no less.”

His voice was low and intense and sent a shiver up her spine.

“I betrayed Tommy. More than once. It started when I didn’t enlist too. When I sent him off to that hellhole all alone.”

He leaned even closer. She could smell whiskey and barbeque sauce on his breath. “Then I kissed his girl like I didn’t know she was his entire world. What did I care? I’m the reckless one. The one who doesn’t concern himself with consequences or feelings.”

Another shiver raced up her spine. “Why did you do it then, Derek?”

He cleared his throat, holding her stare. “I was jealous. She chose him over me. Just like everyone else always did. Our parents, our teachers, even our siblings. Tommy is just more likable. And it was easier not to try. Doesn’t matter what I do, I always seem to disappoint everyone. Why raise their expectations?”

She sucked in a breath. There he went, surprising her again. He was hurting and pretending that he wasn’t hurting. She knew exactly how he felt. It was the way she felt. Not good enough.

NOT enough.

Then he sat back, the bad boy grin replacing the sad smile. The moment was over.

“Your turn.” He slid the basket of wings in front of her.

She licked her lips and released the heaviness of emotion that had built in her chest. Forcing a smile, she picked up a wing and shoved it in her mouth.

Suicide sauce. Whoa. Hot.

At least she had something to blame the tears in her eyes on.

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