Page 37 of Forever and Other Lies

“I’m plenty charming,” he answered, turning her in a slow circle.

Surprisingly, the baboon was a great dancer. The guy could be smooth when he wanted to be. Tonight, on his best behavior, he was almost tolerable.

“Yeah, okay,” she snorted again. “If you were charming, you would have complimented my dress.”

He pushed her back and slowly looked her up and down. “Your boobs look great in that dress.”

“That’s not a compliment!”

“There isn’t a true compliment that a guy can give a woman.”

“That is not true.” She scrunched up her nose and narrowed her eyes.

“It is true. Every compliment can be taken the wrong way,” Derek defended. “Your hair looks beautiful in that updo,” he changed his voice to the high-pitched imitation of a woman. “Oh, so it doesn’t look good when it’s down?”

She huffed.

“Does my ass look big in these jeans?” he imitated again before lowering his voice. “No, it’s your ass that makes your ass look big. Not the jeans.”

“Speaking of asses! You are the biggest one I have ever met.”

“I’m just honest.”

“No, you’re just blunt. You have no filter,” she snapped. “Just shut your stupid mouth before I shut it for you.”

The guy was a caveman. Insufferable.

“Like to see you try,” he taunted.

“Don’t tempt me,” she clenched her teeth. “Just behave.”

“I am.”

He continued to spin her around. Her back tingled where his hand rested. He pulled her closer, his breath warm against her ear. “If you shut up, then I’ll shut up.”

“Like that’s possible.” A smile formed on her lips against her will. It felt good to be in his arms. The guy smelled amazing, and his chest was as hard as it looked. The smile died on her lips as an attraction for him blossomed. No, she’d be feeling this way with anyone. It was just this romantic venue. And any ape she danced with would probably cause the same effect.

She forced her eyes away from his impossible violet-blue ones. There was a mark on his neck. “What’s that red mark?” She leaned closer. “Looks like syphilis.”

“Ha, ha.” He rubbed the spot she pointed out, staring at the red smear on his finger. “Some nurse you are. It’s lipstick.”

“I feel sorry for the poor woman. She’d be feeling bad about being single at yet another wedding. But I’m quite sure five minutes in the closet with you cured her,” Jayna snorted and shook her head. “Is there a wedding where you didn’t hook up?”

“Again, you're way off. That’s my grandmother’s lipstick. She tried to kiss my cheek and missed.”

“I should advise her to get her lips swabbed for syphilis.”

“I thought it was chlamydia that you gave me.” He imitated her snort and winked.

“In your dreams, cowboy.”

“Come on, you’d be so lucky. I bet I’ll be in your dreams tonight.” Derek gave her that lopsided grin, and it did something strange to her stomach. Or maybe the chicken she’d had for dinner was undercooked.

“More like in my nightmares.”

Derek pulled her closer again. His head lowered. What the hell? “Did you just smell my hair?” she asked him.

“No,” he shoved her away. “I was just muffling a sneeze.”

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