Page 30 of Forever and Other Lies

It wouldn’t be the first time a disagreement between the brothers ended with a bloody nose or a fat lip, but it would not be tonight. Derek’s eyes followed Artie Kincaide, the only taxi driver in town, making his way to the door. Pulling out three twenty-dollar bills from his wallet, he tossed them on the table and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.

“Thanks for the advice, big bro,” he called over his shoulder as he raced after Artie. “Looks like I won’t be needing that ride home after all. Hey Artie, can I catch a ride with you?”

Now he faced Problem #4: Ian had his keys, and the front door of the farmhouse was locked. Banging on the door and waking his father was not an option. The farmer was always early to rise and early to bed. A hard worker, Stan expected the same from everyone around him. Derek had seen disappointment and criticism in his father’s eyes too often, and he was in no mood to see it there tonight. He’d had enough of that from Ian.

The latch on the living room window had been faulty, keeping his sneaking-in-late teenage butt safe. He was pretty sure no one had fixed it. Switching on the flashlight option on his cell phone, he shone it through the window. It had been a few years since he’d last attempted it, but with a jiggle and a tug to the left, the latch gave. With a low-pitched squeak, the window slid up.

He wasn’t as agile or as thin as he’d been at seventeen, but he managed to squeeze through. The hardwood floor was still hard as he landed with a loud thump. That was going to leave a mark. He pulled himself up and jumped. Someone was perched on the floor beside the couch.

“Damn, Tommy. You scared me. What the hell are you doing on the floor?”

Tommy blinked rapidly, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat. “You startled me. Why didn’t you use the front door?”

“Forgot my key, and Dad still yells.”

Tommy swiped a hand across his brow, his chest visibly lifting with the heavy breaths.

“Are you okay?” Derek asked.

“I forget.” Tommy sucked in air like he couldn’t get enough. His eyelids clamped shut. “Sometimes when I wake up, I forget where I am. There was a light, then the window opened.”

Tommy waved his hand toward the front window.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would be asleep on the couch.” Derek eased himself onto the floor next to his twin. “You’re safe now, Tommy.”

“The nightmares won’t stop. Dare, it was really bad. And every night…” Tommy stuttered as the words tumbled out. “Every night, I go straight back there.”

“Give it time,” Derek cringed as the words left his lips. Cliché, but just what was he supposed to say? Were there any right words for the horror his twin had suffered? “Everything is going to be fine.”

“Everything?” Tommy forced a laugh that held no humor. “Nothing is fine!”

Guilt surged through Derek. Tommy had lived through a nightmare, and he had only made it worse. “I am truly sorry. I never meant to…” he paused, choking on shame as he confessed his betrayal. “It was only one kiss, just that one time.”

He felt Tommy stiffen beside him and move away. He didn’t blame his brother, but damn, he wished that Tommy would just punch him instead of pulling away. Moving to sit on the couch, Tommy held his head between his hands. Derek eased himself off the floor and onto the edge of the coffee table.

“It was more than just one kiss to me!” The anger in Tommy’s voice vibrated through Derek.

“I would take it back if I could.” He would take it all back. Every stupid, selfish choice he’d ever made. Especially the one that had him bailing on his brother, leaving Tommy vulnerable and alone.

“Would you really? You always wanted her, and we both know it.”

Derek opened, then shut his mouth. The denial died on his lips. Enough lies had already passed between them.

“I never thought you would act on your feelings for her. You crossed the line.” Tommy shoved himself further back on the couch, adding more distance between them.

“She was my fiancée. You knew…” Tommy gritted his teeth, and the words hissed out. “You knew how much she meant to me.”

Derek ran a hand through his hair. “I did, and I still kissed her. Damn, Tommy, what do you want me to say? That I thought I was in love with her too? That I was so damn jealous you had her? Everything always came so easily to you. Everyone liked you better. Our parents, our friends’ parents, the teachers.”

Derek leaned forward, touching Tommy’s leg. “Leighton was so perfect. So pretty, so sweet, and she liked you better, too. It drove me nuts. But I am so sorry. I would take it back if I could.”

Tommy jerked his leg away and stood, walking toward the front hall.

“I’m sorry, Tommy. So sorry,” he pleaded, staring at his brother’s back.

Tommy paused. “There was a small window in the cell. Every night I stared out that window and watched the sky turn from blue to black. All I had were my memories. They changed each night. I tried to remember only the good ones. And every good memory included you.”

Turning back around, Tommy stared straight at him. “But no matter what memory I pulled up, I always ended with the vivid image of my brother kissing my girl.” His nostrils flared as he continued speaking. “That last video call I had with Leighton, the last words she spoke to me, played through my mind on an endless loop. Derek kissed me, and I kissed him back.”

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