Just knowing I could be anywhere near him darkened my mood and made my heartbeat kick up a notch. Macon had said in his note that he was gone, but hadn’t elaborated.
Was he dead? Did he move away? Incarcerated?
Maybe I didn’t want to know.
After a couple of hours, I’d made it most of the way down the coast. By the time I hit Hatteras, it was evident that summer was in full swing. Minivans and SUVs lined Highway 12 as people made their way to Ocracoke. The closer I got, the more my anxiety started to take hold. By the time I finally got into the queue for the ferry, I was sweating.
And it had nothing to do with the heat.
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath.
I glanced around as the line trudged closer to the shore. It was now or never. I could either keep going or I could turn around and forget this had ever happened.
Macon wouldn’t even know I was here.
My heart pounded in my chest.
It had been fourteen years since I’d stepped foot on that island.
Fourteen fucking years since I’d walked out the door of that shitty little house.
I’d sworn I’d never go back. If I never heard the sound of that ferry or smelled the salty brine of the ocean through my car window, I’d be just fine.
More cars shuffled up the road as the sun began to set. Macon’s engagement party was tomorrow. If I didn’t go now, I never would. I’d turn this car around and not stop until I saw palm trees.
Eventually, my indecision made the decision for me. I got to the front of the line, and I was directed onto the ferry.
The last one of the day.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as the boat carried me home for the first time in years.
It was dark by the time the boat docked on the other side.
Driving off the ferry, I felt numb.
I wasn’t sure what the correct emotion should be. Should I feel angry? Nostalgic? Happy? Whatever I was supposed to feel, I didn’t.
I just felt…nothing.
My phone started to vibrate next to me, and I hit the Answer button on the steering wheel, thankful I’d synced it before I left.
“I just saw you got off the ferry. You doing okay?” Hendrix’s voice came through over the speaker.
“What do you mean, you just saw I got off the ferry? You’re tracking me now?”
Our friendship was very strange.
“Do you remember when my dad had us all download that app last year?”
I tried to think back to the Creed family Christmas. I’d had a lot of mulled wine and spiked eggnog, and then my memories got a little fuzzy after that.
“Anyway, he had all the kids join his ‘circle’ or whatever so we could keep tabs on each other.”
All the kids. The Creeds had a way of adopting a lot of strays. Me included.
“So, wait.” I paused for dramatic effect. “He can track us? Anywhere?” I let that sink in for a second. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing in my situation.
“You know, I’m not gonna think about that right now. We’re focusing on you.”