Page 40 of Dark Cravings

“I don’t think we even need anyone else to play with. You’re more than enough.”

At that moment, it was clear she’d forgotten I was a switch and could never be fully satisfied with this. I just held her close and let my mind wander until our time in the room had run out.

“I think I’m going to head home, Kenley.”

“Oh. I thought I was going with you,” she said, clearly confused.

“I’ve got a bit of a headache. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Okay, I hope you feel better soon.”

She pulled me in for a kiss and then I left, my mind still going a mile a minute. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up. I loved being with Kenley. She brought a joy to my life that I had been missing but this was only going to work if I was able to be a submissive sometimes. I fell into a restless sleep, thoughts of our evening plaguing my dreams.

I spent the next morning trying to figure out what to do. I wasn’t ready to talk to Kenley about this but I needed to talk to someone. I decided there was only one person who would be brutally honest with me and brought up Sasha’s info on my phone.

Shelby: Hey, Sasha.

Sasha: Shelby, it’s been a minute. How are you?

Shelby: I’m okay. Actually, I’m not really okay. Do you have a few minutes to talk? I could use some advice.

Sasha: Sure, lay it on me.

Shelby: You know what’s been going on with Thomas, Kenley, and me, right?

Sasha: I know you three have been going round and round trying to decide what’s going to work for you but I don’t know what you landed on.

Shelby: Well, Thomas is out. Kenley and I decided to give things a go but we hit a snag last night.

Sasha: Of course you did. What’s happening?

Shelby: Well, we played and it all went really well until afterward. She agreed that play had been amazing… and then said we really didn’t need to add anyone else.

Sasha: Oh shit.

Shelby: Exactly. I don’t know if she just forgot that I was a switch or whether she just thinks I could be happy with this. I don’t know what to do.

Sasha: You need to talk to her and be completely honest because, honey, if you’re unhappy with that part of your life, you’re not being fair to either of you staying in the relationship.

Shelby: Every fucking time we seem to get things settled, something else happens. Maybe I should just end it so we can both find what we need.

Sasha: I can understand why you feel that way but don’t you think she deserves a conversation after all you’ve been through? Give her a fucking chance when she’s not coming down from an amazing play session.

Shelby: You’re probably right. Thanks, Sasha.

Sasha: I’m happy to help. I hope you can work it out. You guys are great together.

Shelby: I do too. We’ve come too far to fall apart again. Chat later.

Sasha: Let me know how it goes.

Shelby: Will do.

I tossed my phone to the side and thought about what she had said. She’d been as honest as I’d expected her to be and she was right. Kenley and I deserved to have a discussion about this. I just didn’t have it in me right now. I laid back down and slept on and off the rest of the day.

By the time morning came, I knew what I had to do. I had to tell Kenley this wasn’t going to work. I hated how the three of us had been dancing around this relationship but, unfortunately, this had to be the next step. I had to end things for both our sakes. I grabbed my phone, ready to take the coward’s way out. I couldn’t bear to do this in person. Seems the universe was conspiring against me, though, when the doorbell rang and I found Kenley standing on my front porch.

“Oh, thank God, you’re okay! I’ve been so worried,” she said, rushing past me.

---