Page 31 of Dark Cravings

Thomas: I said nothing. Shelby, I’m struggling with this too. I didn’t hate our play, I just don’t know how I feel about it being constant.

Shelby: I’m a switch, Thomas, not a Domme. It wouldn’t be all the time. Why are we even trying to convince Kenley when you don’t even know?!

Thomas: Shelby, I want to be with both of you, it’s just taking me a bit to wrap my head around it.

Shelby: You’re acting like I’m asking you not to be a Dom. I’m not. Maybe this isn’t going to work after all. I can’t be the glue to hold three people together when two of them don’t even know what the fuck they want.

Thomas: Please, don’t give up on us.

Shelby: I can’t talk to you right now. I’ll tell you what Kenley did. Sort your shit.

I threw my phone beside me on the couch and let the tears I’d been holding back fall. Why the fuck was I even bothering? I grabbed a bottle of wine, opened it, and took a swig right out of the bottle. I drank myself stupid and then stumbled to my bed, falling into a deep wine-induced slumber.

I groaned when I woke the next morning to sun streaming in the window. My head was pounding and I was nauseous as fuck. Even worse, I still felt mentally spent. Was Thomas going to bail? Would Kenley come around? Could I be just a sub? Better yet, should I have to be? I growled in frustration and climbed out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower, stepping under the hot water.

Maybe I need to back the fuck off.

I had to stop pushing them. I knew what I wanted but I wasn’t going to break myself to get it. If they didn’t want this, I would have to let it go. It was time for me to pull back and wait on them. I couldn’t do it for them and I didn’t have it in me to beg. They were both kind of being assholes as far as I was concerned. I didn’t want to be hurt but it was kind of too late for that. I was already hurt.

I headed downstairs for some Tylenol and a big glass of water. I went into the living room and picked up my phone from the couch. I was surprised to see a message from Kenley.

Kenley: Hey Got a second?

Shelby: Hey, Kenley. I’m happy to hear from you.

Kenley: I talked to Thomas the other day.

Shelby: I heard you put him in his place.

Kenley: I suppose I did LOL. He made a really valid point while we were talking though.

Shelby: What’s that?

Kenley: He asked if I ever felt lost when we were together. I haven’t. I always felt seen. Important.

Shelby: Okay, what are you saying?

Kenley: I’m saying, if Thomas comes around, I’m in.

Shelby: And if he doesn’t?

Kenley: If he doesn’t, do you really think you could be happy with just me? I don’t think you can. I think you would need more than I could offer.

Shelby: I honestly don’t even know at this point. I’m not going to lie. You two kind of have my head spinning with this. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. Right now, though, I have a hangover to nurse. I’ll chat later.

Kenley: Okay. Take care.

I threw my phone down in frustration. One of them comes around just for the other one to fuck off. What the hell was happening with my life right now? Was I strong enough for this shit?

KENLEY

? ?? Teeth that are sharp, bite that is cold … ???

Iwas confused as fuck. From the very beginning, Shelby had been the one pushing this relationship. She was the one who insisted the three of us could be successful in it. Now, I’ve finally decided I’m all in and she starts pulling away?

What the fuck is going on?

My head was swimming and now I was as big a mess as I had been before I decided to continue with the relationship. I wanted to know what had her backing off. Maybe she’d decided I was too much trouble because I took so long to make my decision. Maybe this was how she was going to ensure the relationship broke down. I thought she’d wanted me as much as I’d wanted her. After that conversation, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

---