Page 77 of Dark Bonds

When Jason picked me up for dinner, I’d spent hours obsessing over the best way to handle this. I needed to tread carefully, but more importantly, I needed answers. I got in the car and he leaned over for a kiss. I pecked him quickly on the cheek and then righted myself on my seat.

“Are you okay, Leah?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine. What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, really. I’m just tired. It was a very long day and I didn’t get a whole lot accomplished. The day just kind of got away from me.”

“Okay. I was thinking of Essex for dinner. Does that work for you?”

“Sure, whatever you like.”

Jason looked at me strangely and it was obvious he wasn’t buying my bullshit. We drove to the restaurant and, though I didn’t intend to be, I was quiet on the drive and once we were at the table. About twenty minutes into dinner, he sighed and dropped his cutlery onto his plate. It looked like he was gathering his thoughts, trying to decide how best to handle me.

“Okay, cut the bullshit, Leah,” he said quietly. “I’d like to think I’ve come to know you well enough by now to tell when something is wrong. You haven’t been yourself since you got in the car. If I’m being honest, you haven’t been yourself for a while now. What’s going on?”

“I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” I hedged.

“Not good enough. Not by a longshot.”

My temper was rising and I was struggling to keep it under control. I needed to talk to him but I hadn’t planned to have the conversation here, in the middle of a restaurant. If he kept pushing me, I was going to end up saying something I probably shouldn’t.

“Jason, I don’t want to talk about it. Please, just leave it be.”

“I can’t do that. You’ve barely said two words to me since I picked you up. You wouldn’t kiss me when you got in the car and you stepped away when I tried putting my hand on your lower back. It’s as though you can’t stand to be around me.”

“What difference does it make? I’m just your sub. It’s not like you keep me around for conversation.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, Sir. You can’t possibly be this obtuse. What are we even doing right now?”

“I thought we were out for a nice dinner together.”

“That’s not what I mean. Why are we out for dinner? For months we’ve gone on dates, slept in each other’s beds, and acted like a fucking couple. You say you just want a Dom/sub relationship, so I guess I’m just confused as to where the rest of it fits into that. Sasha has told me that you’ve never been like this with any of your other subs.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. We agreed at the very start that we weren’t doing a hearts and flowers relationship.”

“Yeah, we did, but you’ve done nothing but confuse me since then. Sure, we haven’t done the lovey-dovey bullshit, but in every single other way, we’ve been acting as though we are a couple. Do you have any idea how fucked up my head is right now?”

“I don’t do vanilla relationships, Leah. They get messy and, eventually, someone always gets hurt. It’s why I limit myself to Dom/sub relationships. It’s why I told you that at the very beginning. I never claimed to be anything but what I am.”

“Yeah, and every day since then, you’ve acted the complete opposite. I don’t think you even know what you want.”

“I never told you we’d be anything other than what we agreed on. I haven’t led you on.”

“You know what, Jason? You’re so full of shit you don’t even realize the mess you’ve made. You were right about one thing,” I hissed, standing up. “Someone always gets hurt. I’m done. I am so fucking done.”

I grabbed my purse and walked out of the restaurant. I didn’t stop until I was a good couple of blocks away. A quick look back told me everything I needed to know just in case the conversation hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t come after me. I pulled out my phone and called Raven.

“Hey, Leah.”

“Raven, I need you to come and pick me up.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Please, just come get me. There’s a bar at the corner of Rivington and Suffolk. I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

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