Page 83 of Noah

Ethan gasped. "Oh, no … you didn't do it."

I nodded. "Right in the middle of him fucking me, I told him I loved him."

Owen patted my shoulder. "Noah, buddy. Cardinal rule."

"I know. I know. I couldn't stop it. I could feel it in my bones, and I thought he felt it too. We were both crying. The sex was fucking transcendent. It felt like our souls connected. I said it to him, that I loved him, but he didn't say it back. Just kissed me like he never wanted to let me go."

"Fuck." Liam stood and came around behind my chair. He massaged my shoulders and my neck and kissed the top of my head.

"And now he's not texting you back," Owen clarified.

"I texted that I missed him … and nothing." I looked at my phone. "The next message shows as delivered but not read. He's not even reading my texts. He's probably blocked me."

"Don't get dramatic … yet," Ethan said. "Have you tried calling him?"

"No." I frowned at my phone as I opened Brody's contact and pressed call. Five rings and then straight to voicemail. I didn't leave a message. "He's not taking my calls either."

"I think you might have jumped the gun," Owen said.

"Doesn't matter." I shook my head. "I'm not good for him anyway. He's clear-thinking and organized and I'm just a mess. I can't even get this pub in working order."

"So, you think it's over?" Ethan asked.

"I told him I love him, and he bolted. So yeah. Pretty sure that's the end of it." I downed my drink. "I'm not doing this relationship shit again. I'm going back to straight fucking."

Liam patted my shoulder and returned to his seat. "I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but I'm glad to have you back on team fuck around. Get over him by getting under someone else."

I tried to smile at Liam, but it came out weak. "I'll need some time first."

Owen stood and gave me an awkward hug with me still seated.

"Take all the time you need," he whispered into my hair.

It did feel better after talking to the guys. We carried on our conversation. Ethan's guy still hadn't shown up at the coffee shop again. Owen was still sworn off dating. And Liam was keeping his dick wet in every available male hole in the city. I listened and laughed at the appropriate times, but my heart wasn't in it. I'd never felt the deep intensity of love I had for Brody before.

It was all-consuming.

I went home after closing. My apartment felt empty and cold. Brody's home had been filled with love and a snuggly warmth. I loved all his animals. And I loved him.

Getting over Brody was going to be brutal. My heart was in shreds, and I honestly couldn't see the day that it wouldn't feel that way. I climbed into bed and cried; my sleep fitful.

Every time I opened my eyes; they'd fill with tears again.

I hauled my ass to the pub the next day. Tried to stay distracted by my work. The ploy would succeed for a few moments. One pour of a drink. A few lines read on a spreadsheet. A discussion with my manager Maddy. Then Brody would come crashing back into my mind.

I went home early. Not even making it much past the dinner rush. I was out of there by 7 pm. Tonight's night manager Carl had told me to go home. That he could handle everything.

Again. My apartment. Empty and cold.

My phone dinged. It was my mother.

Mother: We're downtown. Can we stop in and see you at your pub?

Me: I'm not there. I'm at home.

Mother: Are you sick?

Me: No. Just tired.

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