Page 14 of Noah

"Yeah, I waited for him after work on Friday."

"He didn't think that was odd. You waiting for him?"

I slumped my shoulders. I knew I should have run my idea past Alesia first. She was my sounding board to see if I was about to do something odd. I'd had thirty-four years to learn how to navigate in a neurotypical world, but some things were still beyond my understanding.

Like my sexuality. In elementary school, it never occurred to me that boys weren't supposed to like other boys. The concept of only liking the opposite sex did not compute in my brain. Why not just like who you were attracted to? Even today, I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Thankfully, I'd kept my mouth shut about any crushes I had at school. As with most things, I didn't tend to talk much about anything. My dad must have sensed something in me, though, because by junior high school, he started going on tirades about gay rights eroding our society.

By the time I had my first boyfriend, my dad was already out of our lives.

"He accused me of stalking him."

"Jeez, Brody. You probably scared the hell out of him."

"He was nice about it. Invited me to eat pie with him."

"The pseudo-date."

"I asked him questions." The kind you ask when getting to know someone. I had those types of questions scripted in my brain from the time I was a young teenager. My mom had helped me with them, practicing questions through role-play. Now I barely had to think about it.

"Did he ask you any questions?"

I looked down at my desk and picked at my mousepad.

"I wish you weren't so afraid to open up to people," she said, reading my response.

"I don't trust them … you know that."

"You don't have to trust someone right away. That builds with time." Alesia reached forward and placed both her hands on the edge of my desk. "Small steps. Maybe this is the guy."

I looked up at her. "He has crystal blue eyes."

"Those would be nice to wake up to every morning, don't you think?"

I nodded. I was tired of talking. "I need to get back to work."

Alesia rose to her feet and headed to the door. "Think about what I said." I was already back looking at my email program when she shut my door.

It was a weekday, so I was going out for dinner tonight. My new favourite, the wings at The Lion and Pheasant. Noah's pub. I walked into the warm hum of the building. It was quieter in there than it had been on Friday night; a simple two-piece acoustic band playing.

I spotted Noah immediately. He was behind the bar, squeezing back and forth behind Liam as they both poured drinks. Sometimes he'd put his hands on Liam's hips to facilitate slipping past him. I knew he meant nothing by his actions, but the intimacy still made me feel jealous.

I slid onto a vacated barstool and opened my email app on my phone, checking to make sure nothing had come in since I'd checked last at the office.

"Hey, handsome." His voice was low and smooth and after having him answer my questions on Friday night, I'd know his sultry voice anywhere.

My cheek lifted slightly, producing a shy smirk, as I looked up from my phone. I concentrated hard on keeping eye contact with him. "Hey, Noah."

"Your usual?"

My heart thudded hard in my chest. I'd committed myself, that I was going to take Alesia's advice tonight. If Noah took my order and walked away, I might not get another chance.

"I'm on the spectrum," I blurted out.

Noah's eyebrows rose. "Autism?"

"The autism spectrum. I'm high functioning but sometimes I can mess things up. Like Friday night when I waited outside for you. It seemed like the right thing to do."

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