Page 86 of Noah

After my parents left, I stretched out on my couch, a cushion under my head, and phoned Liam. He wasn't working tonight, and it was too early in the evening for one of his hookups.

"How are you holding up," he answered.

"I just had the strangest conversation with my parents."

"How so?"

"Turns out they're human. Used the l-word on me for the first time in their lives and then pulled a cheque out of who knows where to buy computers for the centre."

"Wow."

"They were sad for me, Liam, that things didn't work out with Brody. Talked about how love can be painful and hinted to me that they love each other."

"Goes to show that you never have any idea what parents have going on in their private lives. It's nice to hear they're not total monsters."

"I had set my evening aside for a night of crying when they showed up."

"Jeez, Noah, I'm sorry this is hurting you so much."

"I love him, Liam. Like really fucking love him. And I thought he loved me too. The tears. The look in his eyes. The way he was making love to me. So gentle and deliberate."

"Loving," Liam added. "Are you sure he doesn't love you? Maybe that's what scared him. He's in love with you and doesn't know how to deal with his feelings."

I sat up. "But it's me. He trusts me." I switched my phone to my other ear. "We belong to one another. We've said as much. He's mine and I'm his."

"Then maybe you need to fight for him."

I lay back down. "How do I do that?"

"I think you should give him half a second to breathe first."

"What if he decides he doesn't want to have me back in his life?"

"Then it wasn't meant to be. But like I said. Give him a second. If he loves you, he might have a lot to sort out in his head. Give him a chance to catch up and then go after him."

"I'm not sure I'm brave enough. What if he turns me down?"

"Then I'll hold you while you cry. At least you'll know the truth and won't be wondering if the man you love ever loved you back. There are few things worse in life than uncertainty."

I was tired. "I'm going to go cry now."

"I'll leave you to it unless you want me to come over. I was serious about you crying on me part. I can ditch tonight's hookup and be there in fifteen minutes."

"Nah. I think I want to be alone. Thanks, though. Love you."

"Love you too."

I set my phone on my chest after disconnecting the call. Spiralling, I imagined that Brody had found me deficient in some way. That having sex with me was a way to—

Stop it.

Our very essence had entwined yesterday morning. Brody had kissed me with more emotion than he ever had before. Maybe that was his way of saying he loved me too.

Then why ghost me?

Liam was right, I needed to give Brody some time.

I scrolled through my text messages. Jamal wanted to do the fundraiser next Tuesday. Slightly short notice but I could make it work. I could design and print some posters tomorrow.

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