He was better off without me.
An hour after Ricky left, my phone dinged again. I knew it was Noah. I didn't read the message. Just deleted the entire thread. I almost deleted his contact info.
Almost.
I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I headed for my bedroom, Bentley tripping along behind me, and crawled onto my bed. I buried my face into the pillow Noah had been sleeping on. I could still smell him.
I lay there quietly inhaling, soaking the pillowcase with more tears than I had shed in my entire life. I hadn't even cried when I found out about my dad and his other family.
My phone lit up and sang out with the special ring I had for my mom.
I sniffed and sighed.
I needed my mom.
I didn't speak when I answered. When I did that, Mom knew something was up.
"What happened?"
I shuddered through a breath. "Am I a horrible person?"
"What? Brody, no. Why would you say that?"
"I feel like I might be." I wasn't going to tell her that Ricky had been over and what he'd said. How he'd made me question everything. She'd talk me out of it. Deny that the things Ricky said might be true. I couldn't risk them being true when it came to Noah.
I loved him too much.
"Where is this coming from?" she asked.
"I've been thinking."
"Did something happen with Noah?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about him."
"Oh … Brody, I'm so sorry. Did it not work out?"
I erupted in tears. "Mom, please … I don't want to talk about Noah."
"My sweet boy. You've got such a tender heart."
I couldn't hold back.
"It hurts, Mom." I wiped a mess of salty tears off my cheek.
"You love him."
"So much."
"Does he know?"
"It doesn't matter. It won't work." I'd end up hurting him. "Did you ever love Dad?"
"Of course, I did."
"Did you know he was cheating on you?"