Page 88 of Ethan

I needed the serenity of the trees in the hills above surrounding the water.

My sister Eva pulled into a spot a few down from me. I joined her, feeling lighter when I opened her back door to the squirmy wagging creature that was Eva's black Labrador, Murphy.

He leapt up and down on the seat to get at my face. I gave him a good scratch around his neck as he tried to lick my skin right off. I rubbed him harder, exciting him even more.

I laughed at his antics.

It felt good.

"Who's the special boy?" I reached into my pocket and withdrew a small dog treat. The healthy kind that my sister insisted were the only ones Murphy could eat.

"You spoil him." Eva waited for me to feed him then clipped the leash onto his collar. He was thrilled to jump out of the car. He began pulling, wanting us to get moving.

"All right. All right." Eva locked her doors, and we made our way across the parking lot. We walked along a wide trail that led to the beach area and the other trail heads.

"Let's do the short loop," I said. "It's too hot to go for long."

"Agreed." She adjusted the small backpack she was wearing. It would contain water for her and Murphy and a small silicone dish to help quench the thirst of the frantic-to-move-faster dog.

Eva let Murphy lead the way up the first short but steep incline. The rocky path leveled out for the most part once you were high enough to have a good view of the lake. The water was surrounded by massive boulders topped by Garry oaks and Douglas fir.

I soaked it in, the calm. The trail was shady, and cool, and wound through the immense trees. We walked in silence, only speaking to admire the lookout areas.

After climbing another hill, Eva nudged me. "What's up? It's not like you to take time off work during the day. I was surprised when you called."

"Mom told you about Daniel?"

"The Zaddy?" Eva smiled over at me. "Yup."

"Exactly that." I stopped to take a drink. "The guys think it's a problem … his age."

"What do you think?"

"I'll admit they have a point. I'd hate for Daniel to think he's holding me back."

"That's your concern? You're not worried that you might be missing out?"

"It doesn't feel that way when I'm with him."

"How does it feel?"

I lifted my lips into a slight smile. "So good. I've never felt this connected in a romantic relationship before. Ever. From day one, Daniel has made me feel good. Special and cherished. His desire for me has encouraged me to explore new parts of myself. Challenged me to peel back layers in my wants and needs and let him see them without any shame."

"You love him."

"I do." I swallowed, struggling to keep my composure as tears formed in my eyes. "Doesn't mean we should be together, though, does it? Maybe it's best if we get out now."

Eva shook her head. "Little brother … only you can decide that. I can't give you advice other than you have a lot to think about. Are you willing to take a chance that he'll believe you feel fulfilled in the years to come? Are you willing to make that kind of commitment to him? Because there will come a time when your age gap seems vast. Are you both ready for that?"

I had hoped Eva would help me achieve some clarity, but she had thrown more knots into my tangle of thoughts about whether Daniel and I should continue.

I had a feeling untangling the mess was going to hurt.

Chapter Sixteen | Daniel

It had been over a week since I'd seen Ethan in person. We continued our nightly calls, but they were shorter than before. I could sense the hesitation in his voice.

I probably came across with a similar tone. A couple of times, our conversation had wound down long before bed. We hadn't fallen asleep on the phone since before I spent all those days with him at his apartment. Maybe he was having second thoughts about us too.

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