Page 76 of Ethan

"He was worried. He was going to head over here and use his emergency key." Daniel sighed. "He loves you a lot, Ethan. He thought I should know what was happening."

I knew I shouldn't have told Owen what accounting firm Daniel worked for.

I frowned at the door. "And what is it that's happening?"

Daniel slid his fingers further through the mail slot, seeking. I desperately wanted to touch them. To feel their familiarity again. I lay my cheek against them.

"Owen says it's depression."

"Fuck Owen."

"You don't mean that." I could feel his breath through the slot. "Let me in."

"I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what? Like you're human? Ethan, please … let me in to hold you."

A tear rolled down my cheek and I caught it with my knuckle, smearing it across my skin. I had a decision to make. If I let Daniel in, I'd be letting him into my entire life. The good and the bad. And right now, the bad was winning, hauling me into its ugly depths. Even from my place gripping the edge of a deep dark well, I could see a sliver of light, and I wanted to reach for it.

I stood and unlocked the door.

Daniel pushed his way in and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight, his lips kissing my head, snuffling and sighing. It sounded like he was crying.

I didn't want him to cry over me.

"You're not allowed to cry," I said. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

Daniel sucked in a shuddering breath. "Okay. I promise I won't cry. I was just so worried."

I tipped my head forward and placed it on his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me, Ethan. You terrified me. I thought you'd cut me loose."

I looked up at him. "That was the plan."

"Why? Because of what Sarah did? She had no right to speak to you like that."

It had certainly contributed, but I wasn't about to drag Sarah into this. I'd been headed down this desolate road for weeks. Any little thing could have kicked me into the hole.

This wasn't her fault.

"I don't want to talk about it." Simple answer.

Daniel held my shoulders in both hands. His gaze caught mine and made sure I held his, drawing me in, there was so much compassion in their depths.

"I'm here for you. Whatever you need … or don't need. You only need to tell me."

"I could use a cup of tea." It was a simple request, but I knew Daniel would be all over it. He wanted to feel useful to me. And I realized I needed him to be that person for me.

I curled up on the couch, surveying what three days of strictly take-out food and no effort to clean up after myself looked like. Daniel didn't even raise an eyebrow as he pushed aside a burger wrapper and placed my cup of tea on the coffee table in front of me.

"Owen says you like movies as background noise when you need to sleep." He sat beside me, and I hugged his arm and placed my head on his shoulder. Unshowered for three days, I had to look a fright and probably smelled even worse, but he tugged me closer to him.

With one arm around my shoulders and the other on the clicker, Daniel picked an innocuous action movie that I'd seen many times before. I snuggled against him.

Safe.

This time, the darkness felt warm as it pulled me under.

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