Page 85 of Ethan

"You're going to retire next year. What's he going to be doing?"

"Running his coffee shop. He's tied to it right now, but maybe—"

"He'll ease up to hang out with you in your retirement. Daniel … seriously?"

"We'll work it out … I can't imagine life without him."

"You're delusional. What does he even see in you?"

"We mesh, Delores. I don't know how to explain it."

Delores laughed. "And how much is this relationship costing you?"

"You sound like Sarah. Ethan doesn't need or want my money."

"What does he need?"

"Love. And I have it for him in abundance." I felt guilty telling other people about my love for Ethan before I'd even told him I was in love with him, but I needed to work my way toward having enough courage to tell him. Speaking the word aloud gave it the life I needed.

"Love? So soon." She coughed out a laugh. "You are an old fool."

"Maybe, but Ethan makes me feel young. My life is full of hope. I dream of having many adventures with him. I can imagine a fabulous life together."

"Until you're in your 70s and he's only in his 50s. What then?"

I frowned. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I'd be an old man and he'd be the same age I am now. Could I see myself with someone in their 70s? Their life winding down.

What if they were in a care home like my mom?

What if I was in one someday? Could I do that to Ethan?

I stood. "I need to go. Thank you for the margarita."

Delores bounced to her feet and grabbed my arm. "Daniel, it's not that I'm not happy for you. I just want you to consider everything. Is it fair to keep this young man from a different life?"

Maybe not.

"Thank you, Delores." I rushed through the house and out to my car. One simple conversation had changed everything. Was I selfish for wanting Ethan in my life?

Fuck.

Chapter Fifteen | Ethan

Now that I'd been at work for a couple of days, I was starting to feel more like myself. I found the ritual of my daily baking schedule to be therapeutic. The coffee shop would have its full compliment of fresh baked goods again. I'd been told my customers had been complaining.

Claire and my manager had made the best of a bad situation and performed beautifully while I was home, wallowing in darkness. They'd taken over and run the shop without input from me.

I owed them a load of gratitude. It wasn't the first time I'd leaned on them that heavily.

Yesterday, my doctor and I discussed medication. There were some new ones he wanted me to try. New to me anyway. He'd convinced me we would find something that worked.

I'd told Daniel and he'd been supportive. A bit distant—sad, but supportive. He told me Sarah hadn't been dropping around to his house like she usually did. That any phone calls they had ended in an argument. Sarah was adamant that Daniel was making a mistake with me.

It hurt.

It might even be affecting us.

Daniel and I were supposed to go on a date tonight, but he had canceled, saying he had work to catch up on after taking so many days off with me.