Page 75 of Ethan

Being with Daniel had been too good to be something that would last.

I didn't deserve anything that good.

I'd been naïve and stupid.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I smacked my head a few times then went in search of my keys. I could slip out the back and text the manager. Get him to cover for me for a few days. My mind was digging a hole fast.

Maybe I'd never be able to climb out of it.

Maybe that's what I deserved.

For three days, the text messages and phone calls kept coming. I had the phone on mute, but it kept buzzing. When the battery drained and the phone died, I hid it in my beside drawer.

On day one, most texts had been from the shop. I'd tried to respond to those from beneath my tumble of blankets. And then others slowly realized I wasn't answering them.

Owen, Noah, and Liam.

My mom. My dad. My sisters.

And Daniel. He was the most persistent. Leaving me the sweetest messages until the evening of day three when reality hit, and he realized I had ghosted him. Then he'd become frantic.

I burrowed into my bedding. It was for the best. He might ache for a while, but he'd get over me. He'd be free to find someone better suited. Someone his family would accept.

I drifted off to sleep, letting the cold darkness take me.

It was pitch black outside, the middle of the night, when the pounding on my door started. I hauled my blankets over my head and tried to ignore it.

"Ethan!" a voice called through my mail slot.

Stop.

"Ethan … please!"

I rolled toward the edge of the bed, my body responding to the distraught tone. My mind and the inky black clamped down. He'll go away. Just leave it. Daniel will go away.

"Baby, please let me in!"

No. Go away.

"Please … let me know you're all right!"

I hauled myself up until I sat on the edge of my bed. I loved the sound of Daniel's voice. I didn't like that he sounded as if he was in pain. That I was doing that to him.

"Ethan, come to the door! You don't even have to open it. We can just talk."

I drew a succession of jagged breaths in and out of my lungs. My mind wandered to memories of being held in Daniel's arms. I'd felt safe there. Maybe I could feel that safe again.

I struggled to my feet and wandered down the hallway to my front door, then slid my hip down the wood until I was seated on the floor. I tapped the mail slot to let him know I was there.

"Ethan … baby." Daniel's fingers appeared through the slot. I leaned my head against the door and watched them wiggling, then dragged my finger down one.

I settled in, playing with his finger as I listened to him breathing.

"Owen called me."

I sat up and pulled my hand away. "He shouldn't have done that."

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