Page 96 of The Fix

“C’mon, Mama,” he coos into the phone, his voice traveling over my skin like a caress that I shake off. “Say yes.”

My thighs clench, and I scrub at my eyes. “No. Now I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, I know I’ve asked a fuckton from you, Anna. Shit that I didn’t even know I was asking. Or realize it, I guess. Shit I had no right to ask for and technically I’m asking more from you, but all I’m really after is a chance.”

My heart splinters a little more, more tears sliding past my defenses. “Chance for what?”

“To make it up to you. Be with you. To show you. Feel you, earn you, trust you, and lo—”

“Toby, stop.” I tighten my grip on the phone, my throat threatening to choke me. “It can’t and won’t happen, okay? I’m leaving the label for me, and I am not changing my mind.”

“But, Anna—”

With tear-stained cheeks and an unbearable ache I will never be able to fill, I pull the phone away from my ear and finally hang up.

Fool me once …

Chapter Forty-Nine

Toby

It only took a minor bit of convincing and a way-too-long discussion with the doc about boundaries and habits and blah, blah, blah …

Once she said it was cool, I stopped listening.

Because I am now holding a brand-new phone that’s shiny and black and currently ringing.

I get to call Anna. Text her whenever I want.

I don’t expect her to answer an unknown number. I expect even less of a hospitable reception once she finds out that the new number spam calling her is me. After the way things were left yesterday, I’m not sure she’ll ever actually speak to me again.

But I don’t care. I plan to reach out to her until she makes me stop.

“Hey, Mama,” I whisper into the phone once the voicemail picks up. “I’m totally not supposed to have this, but I guess I’ve been doing decent enough that the doc okayed it.” I keep my voice low. “Guess who punched me today?” I chortle, the sound whistling through my swollen nose. “That’s right, it was Fin. Of all fucking people! I told him that he’s a stage hog, stealing my spotlight and things, and … well … he was mad I never told him. I think I deserved it, because I also said something about his award belonging to me. He didn’t like that much, either.” Licking my dried lips, I roll over in the bed and stare up at the ceiling. “Anyways, I don’t know how long a message I can leave before it kicks my ass, but that’s my update for today.” I clear my throat, my hand brushing against my jaw. “I hope yours was decent, too. Only five more weeks, four days, six hours, and thirteen minutes.”

With a stiff smile, I end the call.

Chapter Fifty

Toby

“You’ll never guess what happened in group today.” I chuckle; the urge to rush it out before the voicemail stops recording knocking at the back of my mind. “We had to share today, talk about our experiences as an addict, and some guy said he was so hard up for a hit one time that he cut chocolate chip cookies and sniffed them. Like the shit you dunk in your hot cocoa sometimes! Fucking cookies. I almost wish I’d tried that, just out of curiosity.” I laugh, rolling over against the cool side of the pillow beneath my head. “Anyways, that was the highlight of my day aside from being able to call you.” Pushing to a sitting position, I lean back against the headboard and sigh. “I miss you, and I hope you had a good day.” I glance at the calendar atop the desk beside me. “Only five more weeks, seven hours because I couldn’t wait until lights out to call you, and twenty minutes.”

Unwarranted hope blossoms in my chest.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, Mama.”

Chapter Fifty-One

Toby

Istare at the dimmed screen, its blankness mocking me.

No missed calls. No returned texts. No notifications begging for my attention.

And still … I hit the phone icon, the trail of Anna’s number filling every spot in the log.

It rings, just as it has every night for the last two weeks, with no answer.

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