Page 54 of The Fix

This has to be a dream.

The thought makes my insides feel all fluttery and gooey as he sets me on the mattress and settles in behind me. His arms are void of their previously clammy nature when he wraps them around me, his chest meeting my back, the bare spots around my bralette tingling.

That’s gotta be a good sign.

“You feeling better?” I mumble, almost too distracted by the skin to skin contact.

“All thanks to you.” I feel the gruffness of his words tease over my ear, and I shudder.

“Good …”

I’m not sure how long I lie there, focusing on his even breathing and staring off into the nighttime, before I realize his arms have stopped trembling and his presence just feels lighter.

As if there’s a weight that’s been lifted from him.

I’m not fooled into believing he’s cured. There is no cure for addiction and trauma that has gone unchecked for so long. Or terrible habits that have taken over a life. There is no switch that means it’s all over now.

But for the moment. This moment. There is peace in him.

I’ll take as many of those as I can get.

“Mama,” Toby murmurs against my neck, bathing me in his minty breath, the arm around my stomach tightening. “Tell me you’re awake.”

“Depends.” I snicker and angle my head in his direction, but I can’t see him through the darkness.

“This a good enough reason?”

Toby’s lower half moves and something jabs me in the butt cheek.

“Jeffers,” I squeal and tap his arm when he bumps me again. “That better not be what I think it is.”

His husky growl is enough to shut me up. “Why not?” His erection presses into my butt and stays there. “Not like it wasn’t already buried in your throat.”

I suck in a breath at the reminder. “We shouldn’t, Toby,” I whisper.

“Mmm,” he rasps. “You don’t sound very convincing.”

I’m not. Not at all convinced that this is a terrible idea when all I want to do is let him bury that thick length inside me, if only to ease the throbbing he’s caused.

If only to ease the ache he created.

I cry out when he grinds against me, teasing me, testing me.

“Tell me to stop, Mama, and I will.”

Toby leans up, and I fall back against the mattress in his absence. His body curls around me, his length still rutting against me, his hand grasping my hip.

“Anna, say something.”

My lips pop open with a breathy gasp when his hand shifts to the inside of my thigh. I know that I should stop this. Yet, I can’t.

I can’t get myself to utter anything except, “Something.”

He snorts. “That’s not a no.”

I’m flat on my back before I can blink, with my pants torn down my legs and a growl reverberating around the room when his hands meet my bare hips. “No panties? Were you waiting for me to find you bare, naughty girl?”

No amount of biting my lip can hold back the whimper because while I didn’t intend to leave myself without undergarments, maybe subconsciously, I was hopeful.

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