Page 55 of Packed Up In Vegas

“Why doesn’t he like me?” I turned my face against Kai’s chest. “I don’t understand. Sometimes I think he wants me and then he just shuts me down. It feels like before.”

“With your ex?” Kai asked.

I nodded. I didn’t want to think about Jerry, but Amir was triggering my insecurity, making me want to try to make him happy without knowing if I could. I hated that feeling.

“I’ll talk to him,” promised Kai.

“You don’t have to talk to him. I’ll get around to it. I’m just so confused.”

If Amir didn’t like me, I had to accept that. I couldn’t, wouldn’t allow myself to fall into the same trap with him that I had with Jerry. The other men in the house liked me plenty and I could put my focus into building relationships with them.

“What happens if he never likes me?”

“That won’t happen,” Kai assured me. “He doesn’t have to be with you, but he’s pack, and he needs to check his attitude. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable here.”

“I don’t know what’s up with Miles either. They’re both so frustrating.”

“Miles is…honestly, I don’t really know. It’s obvious to anyone that he wants you, but he holds on to guilt for a long time.”

“He did tell me he feels like my being here is his fault. I told him it was fine, but…”

“Ah, yeah. It’ll take him a while to sort that all out in his head, but I’m one hundred percent certain he’ll come around. He likes you; he just has to feel worthy before he’s all in. He was the same when we were forming the pack because he felt guilty taking a recruitment job while the rest of us stayed in sex work. Doesn’t matter how much you tell him you’re comfortable with something. If it hasn’t clicked in his head, he’s going to be riddled with anxiety over it.”

“So what’s the best plan of action, then? Do I just keep telling him things are okay?”

“Well, that probably won’t hurt, but mostly you have to let it run its course.”

I groaned, dropping my forehead against his chest. “You and Diego are making this so easy.”

“That’s usually how things go around here,” Kai said with a laugh. He stroked soothing hands up and down my back until I was purring. “I think it’s easier on me too, to accept this is our life now. I don’t want to fight it when it feels so nice to have you here.”

I sighed and snuggled in closer. So much was still up in the air, but I appreciated that Kai wanted to smooth the path for me.

“I’m not entirely sure what to do about my job,” I said after a few moments. “My clients are back in LA.”

“You can go back and finish the work for them and we can look at finding you clients here. I know you went to school for cinematography. Is that what you do for work too?”

“Yeah. I work with a lot of indie producers.”

“Given how many shows there are here, how many performers, I can’t imagine you would be short on clientele if you wanted to transition to finding people in Vegas instead.” Kai kissed the top of my head. “Obviously the connections I’m going to have are in the live sex shows, and I don’t know how interested you would be in doing cinematography for those, so I’m just gonna throw it out there and if you want to pursue it, let me know.”

“I was going to say I feel like I’m too much of a prude for that, but I don’t think I can actually say that anymore.”

Kai scooped me up, perching my butt on the counter before leaning down for a luxurious kiss that had my toes curling. “I would definitely say you’re a lot more adventurous than you give yourself credit for.”

“I’ve never thought of myself like that before.”

“That’s probably because you were with an inconsiderate asshole. Having the right partner for things like that makes all the difference. Really hard to let your freak flag fly if you don’t feel safe.”

I burst into giggles and pulled him down for another kiss, delighting in the cinnamon sweetness and the way his arms snaked around me. In a lot of ways it felt weird to be so comfortable with Kai, and maybe it was the bond, but he was also so lovely with me. He wanted me to feel safe and comfortable and went out of his way to make sure that happened. How was I supposed to hold on to my anxiety when this alpha seemed ready to fall at my feet to make me happy?

I never would have casually made out with Jerry while sitting on the kitchen counter. With Kai I was tempted to lie back and let him take anything he wanted. I inched closer, locking my ankles behind his hips.

Kai wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck, tipping my head so he could get his mouth on my throat and I melted instantly at the sweep of his lips on my skin and the rock of his hips between my thighs. Completely pitiful sounds escaped me when he settled on his bondmark, sucking at the sensitive skin until my brain was mush and my panties were damp with slick.

“I’m curious how many times a day I’ll have to have you before I stop craving you every second.” Kai nipped my earlobe. “I feel like there’s no actual number. As soon as I have you, I want you again.”

I didn’t truly give a fuck if it was the bond that caused that to happen, because it felt so fucking good to be wanted that much. Even if I was drawn to the others, Kai was a safe space.

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