Page 127 of Anything To Be With You

"Goodbye, Luke."

He stares at me, fear overriding his hurt in his eyes. "I'll, um…see you tomorrow."

"No, Luke, you won't." I sniffle. "You promised me you would come get me and you broke that promise." Tears flood my eyes. "What you did is unforgivable and I can't…" I wipe my eyes. "I can't be with someone who's going to ignore my wishes, especially when it comes to my child. Because my child's safety will always be my top priority. Always."

I turn away, tears rolling down my face. He brushes past me, saying nothing more but he's not the same man that walked towards me ten minutes ago. Shoulders slumped, head down. He steps onto the elevator, his ice blue eyes meeting mine one last time and all the joy I saw when he got here is now replaced with heartbreak.

The doors close on the best thing that's happened to me since Mason.

I cover my mouth to mute my sobs.

I broke my own heart to keep my son safe.

A Last Ditch Effort

Luke

I've tried texting and calling Dani, but nothing. Not even a 'fuck off, Archer.' I slump in front of my computer, watching the screensaver switch from one picture to the next. I run a hand through my hair, tugging it at the roots. I can't breathe, it feels like a rope of thorns has wrapped around my heart and lungs and gets tighter with every beat of my heart and every breath I take.

I grab my phone and in a last ditch effort, I fire Dani one more text.

Me: Sweetheart, I'm truly sorry. I will never forgive myself for my actions yesterday. Please, talk to me.

I drop my phone on the desk and stand, pacing the floor and coming to stop by the windows of my office. I look out over the city of Toronto, the sidewalks and streets full of people coming and going. Some heading towards Union station, some going into the Hockey Hall of Fame and some heading towards the ferry to head over to Centre Island for a day of family fun.

My phone dings with Dani's ringtone and I slide onto my desk, grabbing for it.

My Sweetheart: I quit. Please don't contact me again.

I read those words again, hoping—praying—I read it wrong the first time. But no matter how many times I read it, the words don't change. I grip the phone tightly then throw it across my office with a scream, shattering it in a million pieces.

My computer went to sleep hours ago and yet I still sit here, in my home office, my broken self staring back at me in the dark screen. It’s been two days since I lost the love of my life and that rope of thrones has embedded itself into my heart and lungs.

I stand and head into my room. Her scent is still lingering in the air. Turning towards my dresser, I find her drawer open a tad with a shirt sleeve hanging out. I pull the drawer out and I’m hit with her coconut and vanilla scent, and I break.

I tug the drawer out, dumping her clothes on the floor with a roar. I yank the others out, throwing them around the room. I tear the sheets off my bed, throw the frame that holds her picture at the wall, shattering the glass.

A soul deep scream bursts from me, turning my blood to ice and freezing my heart. I broke her heart as well as mine. I broke my promise to her and fucking shattered her.

I keep going over the events of that day, I knew I should've gotten her, but she looked so beaten down I didn't want to add to her stress and I figured that we could handle Mason. I knew better and yet I took it upon myself to ignore my promise to her and in turn, lost the best fucking thing to ever happen to me.

I pick up her picture from under all the broken glass and shake it off. Her beautiful, smiling face is staring back at me. Those eyes that turn me inside out, shine with happiness and my heart bleeds out as the pressure of those thorns gets worse and I drop to the floor, squeezing the picture tight in my fist.

And wallow in heartbreak of my own making.

Get A Grip

Dani

The rolling table begins to vibrate as my phone rings. I reach over and grab it, not really in the mood to deal with anyone, but willing to put on a brave face. When I see who's face is flashing on the screen, I break down in tears.

"Sleeping beauty," I sob when her angelic face pops up on screen.

"Dani! Oh my God! Erin told me what happened. How is he? How are you doing?" her soft, sweet voice calms my tears.

Aurora is mine and Erin's other best friend. We met in the bathroom on the first day of grade nine. She was so scared starting at a new school, having moved from Sudbury to Toronto two months prior that she was hiding out. We weren't sure what to make of the tall, super shy, soft spoken girl hiding in the stall, but we managed to win her over and she fit into our lives perfectly.

I'm the mouthy one, Erin is the 'fuck around and find out' one and Rora is the calm, sweet, shy one that can defuse any situation we get ourselves into.

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