Page 50 of Bind Me

He nudges his head against my hand, his way of saying yes.

I take in the room that’s both luxurious and suffocating.

“It’s just… I don’t know if I’m ready for all this.”

Chowder, tilting his head, says, “What will we do?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, leaning back on the bed. “Part of me wants to stay, to see where this goes, but the other part… I feel like I’m losing myself. It worries me.”

He snuggles closer to my side, offering his support.

“Why does everything have to be so hard?” I mutter, running a hand through his fur. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s better we leave? So, little buddy, I should get our stuff ready to go.”

Chowder’s head pops up, staring at me with almost disappointment on his face.

“How can we leave? When he brings back your scales.”

I blink at him, pushing up to a sitting position.

“Wait, what are you saying?” My mind charges back to the two scales from my tail I found on my bedside table. And Chowder is telling me Kaden was responsible?

“Did you see him bring them back?” I ask softly.

“He sneaks past me. But he scratches me, and I’m a good boy,” Chowder says, almost smiling. “So, Kae’en is good man.”

I grin at his mispronunciation of Kaden’s name, but I’m sitting here torn into dozens of pieces. Getting up, I go to my bag and pull out the scales, still in their container. I can’t part with them, and I stare at them. Kaden did that for me? Something so deeply personal when he barely knew me.

Chowder nuzzles against my hand while he remains on the bed. “Stay here?” he says. “Kae’en is good.”

I exhale loudly, stroking his soft fur. “I don’t know. Maybe?” Flopping back onto the bed, I feel the weight of everything. “Here, I thought you hated him.”

Chowder scrambles onto my chest, staring down at me, a world of emotions behind those tiny eyes, and I can see exactly what he wants.

For us to stay here.

I laugh softly. “All I can promise is that we won’t leave tonight, okay?” I’m torn in two directions, figuring I’ll sleep on it.

Chowder gives a chirping sound, hops off me, and goes to curl up on one of the pillows.

I glance at the scales one more time before tucking them into the bag.

Kaden keeps surprising me, and I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen. Either way, I feel as though things are going to get very interesting.

I curl up next to Chowder, stroking him, and close my eyes, thinking that Kaden did something for me and never bragged about it or even told me. There’s something almost humbling about that.

I must have crashed because it’s already morning. I stroll out of the bedroom after realizing Chowder is not next to me. Hearing laughter through the house is what initially woke me up, and I’m curious about what’s going on.

I stagger into the kitchen, where I find the two men in my life. Chowder eating a full, raw trout off a plate at the table, standing on a chair. Kaden sits across from him, devouring his meal. The table’s flowing with food—meats, bread, eggs, pancakes, fruit, fish. Everything I can think of is available. My stomach growls in response. In all honesty, I can’t recall the last time I ate. I’m starving and take a seat at the round table.

“How’d you sleep?” Kaden asks with a devious lift at the corners of his lips.

“Stirred all night,” I answer with a lie, refusing to let him know he affected me so much.

“Not true,” Chowder pipes in. “You snore heavy. Sleep like log.”

Kaden laughs while my cheeks are burning. I never thought I’d have them both against me.

“And you?” I break the attention from myself.

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