Page 70 of Strictly Forbidden

“Why would he think that way?”

“Because there’d been talk about me taking over the helm given Antonio’s age. Then Saldono changed his mind. He was that way. If he was pissed at you, you were scum and he and Antonio fought a lot. I never wanted the Don’s position. It’s a shit show at best and the easiest way to slide into the grave at an early age. I had a death wish, but not like that.”

“So, they’re coming after you because you were released from prison?”

Once again, he turned toward me, nodding a few times. “They tried to have me killed in prison more than once, although I didn’t know at the time Saldono was sanctioning it. I learned that after my release. I was an enraged inmate with a death wish of my own. I was so angry I was assigned a prison shrink. I was in the most maximum security prison in the entire fucking country, a place where they shoved the worst offenders in the world in to serve out the rest of their lives behind bars yet they allowed a woman to enter the repulsive space. She knew my background. She took pity on me. I hated her.”

“So why were you allowed into the program training dogs? I read about it. You have to be a model prisoner.”

His snorts were exaggerated. He turned and grabbed the bottle, refilling his drink. Once he placed it back onto the coffee table, I did the same. Cleansing one’s soul couldn’t be done completely sober. At least not in our cases.

“I kept asking the same question. She saw something in me including my innocence, which I’d never admitted to anyone. Sure, she and I both knew I was guilty of a hell of a lot of bad deeds but I would never kill one of Saldono’s sons on purpose. I didn’t care about becoming involved. In fact, I think I told her to go to hell, but she kept pushing. She kept picking. She knew my weaker points.”

“You really did have a dog before. He was very special to you.”

“As I said, I wasn’t trying to lie to you. Sure, I didn’t come clean right away, but it was more about protecting you, my fucked-up mind believing that’s what I was doing. Jake was a special boy. He looked like Max. When he was shot, it was like I’d lost a child. Anyway, fast forward to a few months ago. The shrink pulled out all the stops to get me to consider the program, forcing me to meet the dog. You know what they say. The rest was history. Somehow, my mental and emotional improvement along with taking a severely abused animal and turning him into a qualified support dog got me parole. But that was a double-edged sword too.”

“Because you had a feeling Saldono would hunt you.”

When he turned his head this time, his eyes were so piercing that my breath was taken away. “No, sunshine. Because you managed to break the rules and write me a letter including sending a picture. Something else broke inside of me and I wanted to see you. I had no intention of talking to you but the moment I laid eyes on you, all bets were off. Your car broke down and that was it. Here we are. I never intended on dragging you further into my nightmare. You have your own shit to deal with.”

“What I do know is that holding in your emotions and your anger doesn’t help. I learned that the hard way. You need a release, and burning down the world to exact revenge isn’t going to fix anything.”

“Maybe not, but I can’t go back to who and what I was. There’s too much baggage. That’s why I made a mistake with you. I coerced you, which placed your life into danger. Fucking asshole. That’s what I am.”

“That’s not fair, Kage, nor it is correct. You already know what happened to me. I was taken on a bright sunny day just outside of a coffee shop. I trusted in the area and that it was bright daylight. Little did I know the man now called the Claw had been watching me for a long time. That’s what he did with his victims. He blended in because he had a normal day job. The fucker was an attorney of all things, so he knew the ins and outs of the law. That kept him from getting caught. And he read my books. The bastard used my books to hone his craft.”

He moved closer, squatting down in front of me. “Sick son of a bitch. He’s behind bars now. He can’t hurt you ever again. Even if he escaped, I’d fucking kill him if he came near you.”

“There you go again trying to be my hero.” I needed the gulp of liquor now. I wasn’t certain the Claw didn’t have magical powers from behind bars.

“Nah. I’m too far gone for that.”

“No, you aren’t. The love you’ve shown Max, the tenderness in the way you trained him could only be done by a man with a gentle spirit and a good heart. Look at this boy. He was tortured like I was yet he’s flourishing, a happy pup in every way. Will he ever forget what happened? Experts really aren’t certain how long a dog’s memory last. I like to hope not. But you did this. You made him feel alive again.”

“I’m not going to lie that I feel close to Max or that he probably saved my life, but we weren’t talking about him. You’re still afraid.”

“Only because the last thing he said to me was he’d find me and when he did, I would be sorry.”

“If there is any chance that he escapes, the fucker will die. And he will suffer before I kill him. An eye for an eye.”

He took my hand into his, pulling my knuckles to his lips. I sensed another wave of anger growing within him. I wasn’t certain how I could break the cycle.

For either one of us.

I’d never considered myself a broken person but at this moment, I knew we both were. Max had been put with the two of us for a reason. I’d never been one to believe in fate as far as relationships, but I did have faith in karma.

What goes around comes around.

“He won’t get away. I was told as much. He’s not who we have to fear.”

“Yeah, well, I plan on calling in reinforcements. There are some men I know I can trust. I will fucking finish what I wanted to do all those years ago or I will die trying. No one is going to stop me.”

I removed my hand, touching the side of his face. “Why are you filled with so much rage? What happened to change you?”

“It doesn’t matter. What does is that I’m not any good for you. That should be obvious to you by now. I will do everything I can to ensure your safety but you’re going to need to trust me. Hate me. Fucking hate me. You should and I don’t blame you but I’m all you got right now. And I am sorry for everything.”

“Don’t clam up, Kage. Please. Tell me the rest. I can help you. I care. I really do.”

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