Page 90 of Lord of Debauchery

“Don’t think about the possibilities of what could happen. Think about what is happening. You asked me to marry you, didn’t you?” His teasing voice had returned.

“You’re never going to let me forget that. Are you?”

“Doubtful.”

He had a way of disarming me and had since the beginning but sadly, he couldn’t take away the rattling case of nerves of the foreboding feeling that refused to go away. Maybe practicing leading the women to the panic room, a place where no one could find or get to us had finally unraveled me altogether. The women knew the location as well. So did the other members of the Brotherhood. It was entirely possible our families would be massacred here on this day but we’d be perfectly safe.

I didn’t like the odds.

I couldn’t stand the thought.

This was supposed to be a celebration I would remember for the rest of my life. Then why did I feel the need to have a crushing panic attack?

Even worse, why did I sense the level of danger had just reached the critical level? Someone near and dear was going to die tonight.

CHAPTER 24

“The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life… the stronger the daughter.”

—Anita Diamant

Kenya

It had been a long time since I’d thought about my mother but on this day of celebration, I was missing her terribly. I could only imagine the joy in her eyes at seeing her baby daughter getting married. She’d always wanted the best things for me, her nurturing ways and love something that had easily countered my father’s brusque attitude and the fact I knew he hated the fact I was a girl.

Maybe lamenting and reflecting was what every girl did on her wedding day. Or maybe seeing the way Beckham’s mother beamed during the entire planning process had reminded me of my loss. Elle Kennedy was the epitome of a sophisticated woman who had no issue laughing out loud and enjoying a glass of wine while fawning over her family. I’d seen it at least a half dozen times. She’d made me feel special just like she was doing right now as she handed me my bouquet, adjusting my veil and clasping her hands together.

“You look beautiful. Such a lovely vision, my daughter,” Elle said with tears in her eyes.

“You’re going to make me cry. Stop it.”

“Well, it’s not every day my son gets married and I gain a daughter.”

“You already have a beautiful daughter.” Who just happened to be in charge of the food for the day.

“And I love Briana dearly but who said I can’t love another? Welcome to the family.”

While she’d been told part of the reason we were getting married and so quickly, she’d ignored the possibility we’d get it annulled or eventually file for divorce. She was old-fashioned that way, believing that even love at first sight was possible but that all marriages needed work, patience, and a hard-core nature—at least by the wife.

She’d even taught me a trick or two in how to handle what she called her wild child son. Whatever happened, I would also cherish the time I’d spent with Beckham’s family. It reminded me that even those considered ruthless had a core value system, including the love of their families.

“I better go sit down. I think our guests are getting antsy.” She kissed my cheek before adjusting my veil one last time.

I glanced to the side, smiling at my husband to be. He’d stood off in the corner, watching the two of us interact without interjecting. And at that moment, my heart swelled. I wanted this to last. I didn’t want our whirlwind fake romance to be just that. Fake. I believed in fairytales after all.

Even if my father had done everything in his power to shatter my dreams.

He moved closer, taking my arm. “Are you ready to become my wife?”

“Let’s do this.”

I wasn’t certain what I was supposed to feel as I walked down the aisle with the man I was marrying. Almost everything fell into a huge blur as our guests stood, offering reverence and support as we walked down the velvet carpet. I was vaguely aware of the crowd, the only people I knew those I’d met days before. But I’d heard most were soldiers faking being actual guests. That didn’t diminish the reality I was getting married.

Neither my friends nor any family members were here, no colleagues from my former life either. I felt strange, a sense of being hollow inside had yet to escape me. But the closer we came to the minister, the more I allowed the entire event, the beauty of the late morning to overtake my feelings of sadness.

The ocean pounded against the shoreline, the sun creating the most incredible golden shimmer across the pristine waters and for a few seconds, I almost believed this was real.

Every word the minister said seemed firmly planted inside a vacuum, but I only had eyes for the man who held both my hands. As vows were recited, rings exchanged, the marriage suddenly became very real.

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