Page 3 of The Enforcer

Present Day, Havana, Cuba

“What’s wrong, Enforcer?” Finn asks as he joins me outside on the terrace of his and Rax’s house. His hair is starting to grow back, hanging just under his chin. He has a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, warding off the chill of the night. I’m sans blanket. The brisk gusts of wind clear my mind and help me think.

Finn sits beside me, sliding close. Chuckling, I wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in to kiss the top of his head. Rax would probably kill anyone else that tried that, but he knows I wouldn’t dream of moving in on Finn. Though I’ve had Finn’s ass and mouth around my dick more times than I can count, I don’t want him to be my man. Lately, I don’t want anything else with him either.

Which is why I’m sitting outside, looking at the sky, hoping it can drop some answers in my lap.

“Just thinking,” I answer, rubbing my hand up and down his bicep.

“Club business or personal?”

“Both probably,” I answer honestly.

It could be personal that winds up affecting the club if shit goes south. I’m not sure how likely that is to happen and I’m hesitant to test it.

Finn looks up at me, his fathomless eyes seeming to see right through me. “It’s Shane, huh?”

Raising an eyebrow, I ask, “What do you mean, Huck?”

He rolls his eyes. “Please, Zeke. It’s the worst kept secret that you have it bad for Shane. All the guys talk about it when they come visit.” I snort, knowing he’s right. We might be bikers that each have at least one body under our belts, but those fuckers gossip like old women in a nursing home that miss their glory days. “That why you stopped playing with Rax and me? This is the third trip and you haven’t joined in.”

“I didn’t think you guys would miss me,” I say with a wink.

Finn chortles, slapping me against the chest. “We have a great time without you, but we figured you would always be game. It’s totally fine that you’re not joining, but Rax thinks something is wrong. You know he can’t talk about feelings and shit, so here I am.”

I snicker. Rax is my best friend; we’ve been best friends since we were still innocent kids, not knowing all the horrors we had to look forward to when we grew up. In all those years, Rax has told me he loves me like a brother but we never talk about feelings and emotions and shit. I’m surprised Rax has any for Finn, honestly. When Rax fell in love with him, to say I was shocked was an understatement. But they fit. Finn is a good guy and perfect for Rax.

“Yeah, well, it’s not a big deal,” I say, though it is. Of course, I’m the idiot that fell for my other best friend. Ever since Shane and I met and really started to get to know each other, I realized I enjoyed his company. He’s not tough like us physically, but he’s no pushover. He might step over the line and realize he’s around a bunch of killers and dial it back, but he’s not a bitch.

Surprisingly, he fits in with us. He might be a suit, but he can handle all of our bullshit, even hiding a known criminal that murdered a prison guard and escaped to kidnap a man who later became his boyfriend. He’s had Rax’s back from the start and is a big reason why he’s free now, having called in a favor to get a private jet to whisk him and Finn away.

Speaking of Rax, he walks outside, pushing his hands through his long brown hair. “You two done yet?”

I look at him with a smirk. “Oh no, gossip girl, not even close. Sending Finn out to do your dirty work?”

Rax rolls his eyes and sits beside us. I move my arm from Finn’s shoulder and he climbs in Rax’s lap. A pang goes off in my chest as I watch how open they are with their affection. Rax looks at Finn like he hung the moon and Finn returns the same love-struck look. I’m not jealous of them so much as how sure they are of their love and how they’re not afraid to show it.

That could never be me. Not with the man I want it with. I have to put the club before myself. Shane is our lawyer. He may have lost Rax’s case, but he was a brand-new lawyer that was trying to prove himself to his firm. With the money we shelled out for representation, Shane’s firm wasn’t going to let us get away, so they didn’t mind having a young lawyer with little experience defend Rax. But since then, he’s climbed the ladder, getting more wins under his belt and helping us when members run into trouble for a reasonable fee.

If I shoot my shot and it fails? We lose a great asset to the club, not to mention I’ll lose another of my best friends. I can’t go through that. I’d probably break. It’s already bad enough I have to hop a flight to see my childhood friend. Knowing I broke the heart of the man that filled in physically for Rax with his companionship? Yeah, I’d lose it.

Rax kisses Finn briefly, then looks at me with a grunt. “I didn’t send Finn nowhere. I might have mentioned,” I grunt and Rax shoots me a dry look, “that I was wondering what’s going on with you and Shane. That’s it.”

“Nothing is going on,” I tell him with a sigh. “He’s our lawyer.”

“Finn was my hostage.”

I give Rax the same droll look I did before. “Are you suggesting I kidnap Shane?”

“Go to hell,” Rax mutters with a chuckle. “I’m sayin’ that titles don’t mean shit. You gotta do what makes you happy.”

“Has Finn been making you get in touch with your inner Dr. Phil?” I ask in a conspiratorial whisper. “Blink twice for yes.”

“We will make you sleep out here,” Rax grumbles as he pulls Finn closer, who’s laughing under his breath.

Deciding to open up to them both, I lace my fingers and rest my hands on my belly. “I barely graduated high school. College was never in the cards for me. I’ve wanted to be a member of Devil’s Mayhem since I knew what they were. Shane is … smart. Put together. He graduated college with two degrees and finished law school a whole six months earlier than most people. He’s determined. He’s driven. He’s going places. And I’m … not.” He might do some not so legal shit every now and then, but my point still stands.

I’ve never felt sorry for myself. I don’t begrudge my lot in life. In fact, I fucking love it. I love being in the MC, I love my brothers, I love my slice of found family and I love being an Enforcer. But here lately, I’ve wished I was … cleaner. Someone more deserving of someone like Shane. He deserves the best, and that’s something I can’t give him.

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