Page 63 of Embers Glow After the Fire

“Let me see if I can get a few days off and I’ll call back?” He squirms.

“Of course. You can speak with Meredith directly. She’ll handle everything for you.” Papers shuffle again. “I do look forward to meeting you, though I wish it were under better circumstance. Christian always said lovely things about you.”

Is he sure about that? “Oh.” Brendon is taken aback. “I look forward to meeting you too.” He politely mirrors the kind words. It’s hard to believe Christian had nice things to say, considering the way he spoke at home, but guilt wrings his middle tighter.

The call ends and Brendon summons Robbie’s contact info next.

”Hey Brendo. You okay?” He’s worried.

“Yes—Christian’s estate lawyer called. I need to fly down to Texas and sign paperwork. Do you think I can get a few shifts covered next week?”

“Of course!” Robbie pauses. “Are you good, going down there alone?”

”I’ll be fine. I can get things tied up and finally move forward.” He hopes. “I’ll come right back after.”

“Okay.” Robbie’s voice pings with concern. “Let us know if you need anything at all. Do you still have leftovers in the freezer?”

Brendon chuckles. He and Dennis had dropped off several bags and a cooler full of dishes from the cabin excursion. It filled the small freezer and stocked his fridge for longer than it will keep.

“I love you guys.”

“We adore you.” Robbie pauses again. “Have you talked to Matty?”

Brendon swallows. He’s sure he knows he hasn’t. Robbie and Matthew speak often.

“No.” Brendon’s voice shrinks.

Robbie sighs into his phone. “It’s none of my business.” He stammers. “He asked about you, so—“

“I’ll call him.” Brendon surrenders. There’s no use in dragging it out longer. His chest aches already.

“Love you babe. Text me the days you need and I’ll make sure you’re covered.”

“Thank you.” Brendon ends the call.

His chest pounds and mind races as he tries to recollect the words he’s planned to say but everything melts into a glob of goo when his finger finally taps the call button.

“Hey you.” Matthew’s voice is full with excitement. That stings.

“Hey—do you have time to talk?” He picks at Trent’s carving. “I don’t want to interrupt anything.”

“I always have time for you,” he says cheerfully. That cuts deep.

A jumbled incoherent speech vomits past his lips for too long. He apologizes, begs for mercy and confesses complicated feelings he’s not sure what to do with. Reasoning the distance between them and the chaos of the vacation for being conflicting factors and admits his hope they can be great friends that stay connected. Is this what breaking up with someone you’re not actually dating is?

“Brendon.” Matthew interrupts. “Of course. We are friends. We might be more if we lived closer together but I want you to know I love you. It doesn’t need to be romantic. I fell fast for you and am happy to have you in my life any way I can.”

Brendon’s chest feels lighter even though his belly twists tighter. He’s relieved but a dark cloud hangs over his head.

“I love you too.” Saying the words out loud might snap him in half. He’s never connected so fast and so hard on a level he can’t even explain.

“Is this why you’ve been so quiet?” He calls out the obvious.

“Yes.” Brendon nods against the phone.

“Talk to me. Always talk to me. I was worried. I’ve had the same thoughts and emotions. We’re good. I want you in my life.” His voice cracks.

Brendon wishes he could wrap around him. His entire body craves it.

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