Page 21 of Let Leaves Lay Where They Fall

“It really was fun!” Jamie admits.

“I know.” Andrew squeezes his shoulder scooting past to drop his mug in the sink. “Let yourself be free from time to time.”

“I’m having a hard time letting it go. Obviously, he’s not interested in anything more…”

“Of course you are!” Cutting the tap. “How long has it been?”

Jamie stares toward the ceiling, calculating the time passed since Evan. “Too long!” Crossing arms and pinching the bridge of his nose..

“Exactly! You were hungry babe.” Andrew taps a hip against Jamie’s. Patting wet hands on a towel hanging from the lower cabinet. “Stop caging yourself to some idyllic standard. You’ll meet your match one day. Until then, just have fun.”

He goes quiet while processing Andrew’s words.

He’s right of course. Jamie always maintained the air he’s worth more but really, just doesn’t think of himself as desirable. That it would take one special person who’d finally see him and love him past the flaws. Always aware of his own emotional baggage thanks to the Oprah Whinfrey Show self-help afternoon era he witnessed while growing up. Paired with the rotten diet culture that fueled his pesky body dysmorphia.

Evan was never the right one, but he stayed long past that expiration date anyway. There is lots of work to do.

Chapter 11

Beach

“Hey grumpy girl. Let’s get out of this apartment today.” Nathan remembered hearing two nurses talk about the dog friendly section of Willard’s beach. He looked it up on his phone. Mabel could run off leash between 10 and 4 o’clock on weekdays.

Hopefully, there wouldn’t be too many people around. She’s not a fan of others invading her space and considers anywhere within sight, her territory.

The wacky walls of the little abode have made the space feel claustrophobic the past few days. They’re both ready for an outing. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach!” He tousles her joules and hops up off the bed.

Mabel slides down the edge of the mattress after hearing one of her trigger words, hop spinning twice and foot flopping toward the door. Walk and treats always roused her goofy puppy side.

Nathan pulls a harness from one of their storage boxes and wraps it under her belly, fastening clips around her back and looping the leash through. The duo stomp down the stairs and out to the old Jeep.

They drive across the Casco Bay Bridge into South Portland, carrying on a few miles down streets littered with picturesque New England homes. Landscaping crews already busy at work pruning yards that didn’t seem to need it.

Nathan pulls the vehicle into a stretch of parking spaces, just off Main Street. The ocean ahead lay just beyond a stretch of grass, turned pale gold in the parched autumn air.

There is just one other vehicle. A white hatchback occupied by a person that seemed to be eating lunch.

“We may have the place to ourselves babe.”

Mabel tilts her head and stares straight forward for a moment, verifying Nathan’s observation. Then swinging her floppy tongue back, throwing drops of slobber at his sleeve.

He threads his forearm through the handle of her leash, and they hop out of the Jeep. She pulls hard in the direction of the water, nearly causing Nathan to trip over his own toes.

A fresh paved walk with crushed stone edges weaves through a forest of thigh high beach grass, turning to sand where the path opens up to the long stretch of seaside. The bright sun shimmers on deep blue water. He should have grabbed the sunglasses tucked into the visor over his steering wheel.

The beach looked peaceful. Not a soul in sight. He folds down and releases the leash from Mabel’s harness. She bolts toward the water before he is upright again.

Her flipper-like paws crashing and splashing in the foamy waves. Dipping her face and shaking the water all around. She hops and plays with a big goofy smile plastering her face.

Should have brought a towel.

He sits down on the sand, hugging his knees to watch. The salty air floods his sinus. He draws deep into his lungs, closing eyes toward the sun beating against his battered face.

“Burr Mabel! That’s got to be freezing!” Her unbridled joy infects him with laughter that can’t even be squashed by the pain pinched cheeks inflict on his bruised eye.

Mabel darts back in his direction, sopping wet. Her jiggly body throws spray through the air as she wobbles closer. Zooming in circles around him.

He lifts flaps of his jacket to shield from flying droplets of seawater and kicked up sand. The heaviness of the past couple days just melts away as they’re soaking up sun and bliss.

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