Page 77 of Vicious Knight

He’d be shocked if he knew that I think it suits him and his dick looks good with or without it.

Shit. I have gone crazy and my brain must have turned into a blob if I can admit to liking his dick.

I'm supposed to see him tonight. I know we’re going to be doing the exact same as every other night.

I’ll have his cock shoved down my throat as often as he can manage and he’ll have me spread out on his bed where he’ll eat me out and feast on my body.

That’s what we’ve been doing, but any day now I know he’ll take my innocence. He just wants to make me crazy first. Until then I'll continue to hang off the precipice of sanity, holding on to whatever I can of my dignity.

The question is, do I want him?

During the moments when we're close and intimacy has robbed my brain of thought, I think I do. I know my body does.

Sex was an obvious part of my agreement with him. I geared myself up for it but that doesn't mean I know what I want.

Or maybe it does and I'm finding it hard to accept it.

Then there's the obvious elephant in the room carrying my secret around its neck.

I always feel awkward around Thorne because of my father.

When I’m with him I think about his family and what must have happened to them. I think about how he must blame my father, and what he may think about me.

We haven't spoken about my father since that first night but maybe that's a good thing. I wouldn't know what to say.

I've kept my presence at the palace on the night of the massacre a secret. I also kept it secret that I saw the scar-faced man. Thorne already knows too much as it is and, like he said, we need to be careful.

But I need to be more careful than him. He might be keeping my secret but he's blackmailing me, using my body and making me feel things I didn't even know I could feel for him.

I went into this plan thinking I could keep my mind strong and resist him, but I lose myself every time he touches me. My emotions and body are a mess.

Isabelle taps the table, snapping me from my thoughts. "I think it's best I just put guys on pause for a while," she declares with a huff.

"Really?" Since it's been a while since I spoke my throat feels dry, so I take a

sip of my drink. "It's just been bad, bad, bad since I've come here."

"I'm sorry."

I truly sympathize with her. Her dates with Ryan were going great, until they weren’t.

Her first date with him was so good she said it made up for the bad experience with Kade, then last night everything took a nosedive.

"It was like Ryan was a different person." She releases a heavy sigh. “Like someone swapped him for his silent twin. I don't know what I did wrong in the space of a few days."

"Why do you think it's you?"

"It must be. On our previous dates he couldn't wait to see me again and planned another right away. But last night he barely said anything to me and left within the hour. Clearly he doesn't want to see me again. I haven’t even heard from him."

My shoulder slumps. "The last thing you want is some guy treating you like that.”

"Exactly. So I've decided I'm just going to focus on classes, which are finally going great." She gives me a proud smile.

"I'm glad to hear that. Mine are great, too.” At least all my classes are going the way I want. When I'm there I allow myself to get lost in the lessons.

"I also noticed that Thorne seems to have left you alone. So now you can breathe."

"Yes." I nod with conviction, feeling terrible that I have to lie. I've done such a good job at hiding my relationship from everyone that no one suspects I'm seeing Thorne.

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