Page 73 of Dealing With Drak

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Anna

I gave myself a headache after crying myself to sleep. I had Al’rik show me where I could be alone and didn’t come out for the entire journey from Earth to Aprix. I’d say I’m thankful for the sleep, but I’m not.

Instead of wallowing away, sulking in the sorrow I created for myself, I should have gone to Drak. I should have sobbed and apologized while trying to explain, but of course, I didn’t. I isolated and wallowed in my grief like I always do. I cried for my mistake and for Landon, too. He was too young to die, and he should be here with us, but he’s not.

I can’t shut down and stop living because he’s gone. Caleb needs me. Drak needs me. And I need both of them more than they’ll ever possibly know.

Before I passed out on the flight, I thought about going to Terum. Having him berate me or tell me that he knew I wouldn’t be good enough is exactly what I deserved. I didn’t dare, though. Despite his previous warning, I don’t think he’s the kind of person to yell at a girl and make her feel worse while she’s down.

If he tried to comfort me, I’d spiral. I don’t know how to handle it when people treat me better than I deserve. Maybe with Dad always being quick to anger—yelling before anything else—has affected me more than I thought, but it’s no excuse. I hurt him. Drak of all people.

The best man in the world, the best partner I could ask for… and I hurt him.

Stumbling out of the ship onto wobbly legs, Caleb helps hold me up by my arms while I furiously rub at my eyes. Most of the girls are squealing with excitement, looking around our new environment with wide, light-filled eyes. Caleb looks happy too, and I refuse to squander his joy. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut—everyone is happier that way.

Looking around so that no one thinks I’m sulking, I take in the wild views of Aprix. For miles, you can see blue grass, unfamiliar plants of varied colors, and strangely shaped flowers. Dauntingly tall trees with blue leaves stand under the magical purple sky. There aren’t pillowy clouds up there, but there are visible planets and moons sprinkled all around.

It’s beautiful, really.

My boots swish through blue grass, and my lungs fill with air. It feels exactly like Earth’s, albeit maybe cleaner.

Things move quickly as we break into groups. Drak ushers Caleb and me into something he calls the M.T.S. The Mountain Transportation System appears to be a system of clear tubes with connections to different locations. Like elevators and trains had some sort of strange love child. The tubes look like they go in several directions, instead of just up and down. Drak seems to key something into an advanced looking computer, and then the thing hums to life, moving us swiftly.

“Cool as hell,” I hear Caleb comment, his head swiveling to look around as we move. “This is how you get to your house?”

“When we do not use a ship, yes,” Drak answers. To his credit, he doesn’t sound as withdrawn with Caleb. I wish I could thank him for that. He’s being hospitable even though he’s sad so that he doesn’t make my brother feel bad.

When the machine comes to a stop, the glass doors open, and my eyes widen. Coming face to face with a large wooden structure has my jaw dropping. It’s a beautifully built cabin, a medium-sized ship parked right in front of it, and the shadow of a larger building behind it.

“Is your war ship in that?” Caleb asks with an impressed whistle. “That’s the biggest garage I’ve ever seen.”

“It is,” Drak confirms, waiting for me to leave the tube. Embarrassed, I brush some hair from my eyes and step outside with the pair of them. “I will take you to see it tomorrow if you wish, brother Cay-leb.”

“Oh, I definitely wish,” he chuckles.

“For now, I will show you the house.”

And he does, robotically giving us a tour of his lovely home room by room.

“Where is everyone else staying?” Caleb asks casually, following Drak through the next hallway to the rooms.

“Meg-ham has decided to stay with Al’rik, but the other females will stay with Terum for now. He has the most space, and they wish to stay together.”

I can’t even find his mispronunciation of Megan’s name amusing because I’m too lost in the disconnect between us. It’s so obvious in his tone and demeanor, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I obviously didn’t talk to any of the girls on the ship, choosing to self-isolate and sleep away the ache of what I’ve done. I’m sure Megan is fine being in a house alone with Al’rik—she probably insisted on it—but I don’t know if they’re just friends or if she’s truly seduced him yet. The alien is shy as hell, and Megan is as forward as it gets. I left with Drak to look for my family before figuring out if there was any potential there or if my roommate was simply horny and found him the hottest.

I do know that no one else’s soul seed has lit up yet. So, Brooke and Cayte are both staying with Terum but aren’t mated to anyone. I’m sure it was the most logical decision, keeping them free of the pressure to live with someone one on one. Either way, I didn’t give them the option to meddle in my personal life, so I don’t have the right to pry into theirs.

I can hardly breathe as Drak moves on from his explanation to showing Caleb his bedroom. He has his own bathroom facility, which thankfully works quite similarly to Earth’s. Drak gave him a large bed and plenty of space, too, telling him to make himself comfortable while he shows me where I’ll be staying.

I follow silently behind him as he leads me down the hall, footsteps tapping against solid wood flooring. Swinging open a large door, he motions for me to go inside, and silently I do. It’s very similar to Caleb’s, unoccupied like a common guest room.

“This is your room,” Drak says without a trace of his normal happiness.

Your room. Not our room.

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