Page 61 of The Mafia's Surprise Gift

I tried to keep my mind off them, but after what was definitely one of the worst days of my life, it was a struggle. Those few hours spent thinking that my son was missing had been the most terrifying I’d ever felt, and it had taken me three hours of sleeping next to him to finally calm down enough to retreat to my own bed.

My fury at my mother was uncapped, made worse by her playing up her sickness and refusing to acknowledge what she did wrong.

And now, Rocco knew.

He knew Zack was his. His reaction had been… unexpected. In previous nights, lying awake and staring at the ceiling, I had imagined telling Rocco the truth. I’d imagined him yelling at me, either screaming that he wanted nothing to do with either of us or threatening to take Zack away from me.

Reality had been infinitely calmer, and with Dino and Jian right here beside him sharing the same sense of responsibility… It was sweet. I replayed his words over and over while toying with the corner of my bedsheet. Rocco had seemed happy. Jian and Dino had seemed equally relieved. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

I still had to make a decision.

What did I want?

And was what I wanted worth the risk?

Thirst eventually pulled me from my bed. I looked in on Zack and he was still fast asleep, wildly oblivious to most of the pain, and I headed downstairs as quietly as I could manage. Peeking into the lounge, Rocco, Jian and Dino were fast asleep spread over the couches. A deep sense of security settled in my chest.

I’d never felt this safe before. It was rather exhilarating that they were all here. I could walk in there and touch them. Kiss them. Just feel their warmth. It was a surreal feeling that ignited a bubble of giddy excitement in my chest.

In the kitchen, I sought out a glass and filled it with chilled water from the freezer. There was nothing like ice-cold water at four a.m. to feel like it was the first time you’d hydrated in months.

“Mae?” Rocco’s sleep-addled voice made me jump, and I spun around, only for his hand to land on my elbow and steady my arm.

“Rocco, I’m so sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No.” He shook his head. His eyes glinted in the moonlight drifting in the porch doors, and his bare chest rose higher with a deep breath. “I woke up and then heard the water, wanted to make sure everyone was okay.”

“Mmhmm.” His bare torso was a terrible distraction. “I couldn’t sleep. Thirsty.” Tilting the water toward him, I smiled. “I’m okay.”

“You can’t sleep?”

Stepping away from Rocco and immediately missing his warmth, I nodded and leaned against the counter to drink. “I’m tired, but there’s too much on my mind.”

“Wanna talk it out?”

My hair cascaded down one bare arm as I looked at him. “I don’t know if there’s much left to say. Tonight, I thought my worst fear had come true. My son was gone, and I felt like my entire heart had been ripped out. Now, I have my narcissistic mother more concerned with being ill than the fact that she nearly scared me to death. On top of that, there’s you and the guys. I have a lot of feelings to work out.”

“Sometimes, overthinking is the problem,” Rocco replied gently, moving to lean next to me. His entire body was a gorgeous, muscular line of heat that was drawing me in and smothering all sensible thoughts in my head.

“Is it? I mean, if I strip it down, I nearly lost my son to stupidity and I’m falling for three men who are wrapped up in the most dangerous world imaginable. As soon as I give in, I’m putting my son in the middle of that world, and that scares me to death because I couldn’t handle him missing for two hours.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Rocco said, eyeing me over his shoulder, “but Zack’s being my son automatically puts him in this world. My world. You might want to keep him out now, and I respect that, but when he’s older? Or, God forbid, someone finds out? The wrong person gets their hands on him, and I…”

Both of Rocco’s hands curled into fists and he swallowed hard.

“I’m sorry you had to raise him alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I would have been had I known. I can give excuses like my father orchestrating things to minimize my distractions, but at the end of the day, you were alone, and I should have been there. So, I’m sorry.”

As apologies went, that was pretty poetic. It was difficult to be mad at him about my father or even his absence when he was standing there being so genuine.

“Well, we can’t change the past,” I murmured, then I drained my glass. “It might take me some time to come to terms with my son being the son of a Mafia crime lord, though.”

“Hey, I ain’t a lord.” Rocco chuckled deeply. “I’m just a guy.”

“Mmhmm. And how many people have you killed?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

I chewed on my lower lip, then shook my head. “No, actually. I don’t want to know.”

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