Page 80 of Devious Knight

“Yeah… the way you guys were at the football stadium was my first clue. With the exception of everything else that happened in between, I thought it was only a matter of time.”

She’s right. I see that now. “What am I supposed to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“Nothing. I don’t want to do anything. Kade has shown me his true colors and I can’t be stupid enough to keep up this charade.”

“You’re not stupid. We can’t help who we have feelings for no matter how good or bad they are for us. You’ve liked Kade for years. Those feelings don’t just go away overnight.”

We stare at each other silently as I contemplate her words of wisdom. I’ve heard people say similar things before but never thought they would apply to me.

“He’s bad for me.” I speak after a few moments.

“I know, so I’d be a fool to tell you to keep an open mind. Kade Gurkovsky is not the kind of guy you give those sorts of chances. He’s volatile, reckless, and you can’t figure him out unless he wants you to. But you also can’t exactly flip a switch on your feelings for him.”

“That’s the part I have to work on. I need to be able to switch off and focus.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy, sweetie.”

“Mackenzie, you’re not helping.”

She takes my hands in hers. “Trust me, what I’m saying is true.”

“Kade is like a drug with a one-way ticket to hell. If I don’t get myself together there is no way this is going to end well for me.”

“I think you should worry about the things you can control.” She taps my knuckles then releases my hands. “If I were you I’d focus on the important stuff like your project and Cambridge.”

I drag in a little breath to clear my head and nod slowly. “You’re right. And if I’m not careful, time will get away from me and I’ll have nothing. The new lord chancellor starts next week. I at least need an idea of what I’m going to show him.”

“Exactly.”

“But what should I do about Kade in the meantime? What if I end up in a situation like last night again?”

She bites back a smile. “That part will depend on you.”

“Me?” I glance away from her and look at the curtains swaying at the window. Once again she’s right. That part does depend on me.

“If you don’t want him and you know he’s bad for you, simply walk away.”

It sounds so easy. And it is. Walking away from a guy who’s bad for me is a no-brainer. It’s like walking away from a fire so you don’t get burned. “I can do that.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Okay, then that’s the plan.” I nod with reflection, trying to center my thoughts. “I’ll walk away.”

Even if he comes after me, walking away is me using my brain.

“Feel a little better?” She cocks her head and regards me with hope.

“Yes. I think so. At least I have a plan.”

“Good. You know what will help you feel even better?” Her face brightens with the prospect of a new idea.

“What?”

“Shopping.” She booms in a game show host voice. “Shopping and lunch. All on me. We could check out that cool Chinese restaurant you wanted to try the other week. Allow me to make up for last night. Please say yes.”

I smile back at her. “Yes. I think I need the distraction.”

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