Page 161 of Devious Knight

I’m about to say yes, but the elephant between us stops me.

That plan of mine to clear the air between us floats into my mind, and I freeze up.

He’s offering me what I wanted—to be with him.

If I mention that thing, will it take us back to that push and pull of tension and angst? Will it spoil this?

He hated me back then. I don’t want him to hate me.

But I want to find out why he did.

On seeing my hesitation, he strokes my cheek.

“Tell me. I know there’s a lot we have to talk about.”

“You never told me what I did to you. I’ve searched my mind looking through every corner for the answer, but I can’t find it. What did I take that I can’t give back?” My heart speeds when I remember back in January when we were at each other’s throats. He wanted to ruin me. “I have to know why you hated me so much.”

Kade hangs his head, and when he lifts it, he nods. But he looks like a person who's seen the outcome of a situation and is hoping for something else to happen.

“Sit. I’ll tell you.” He guides me to sit on the sofa and joins me, facing me.

“If we have to sit, it must be bad.”

“It’s… not good.” He waits for a moment, staring at the patterns on my rug like he’s contemplating his words, then his eyes finally meet mine. “Remember when you told me about meeting a hacker at the gallery when you were fifteen?”

“Yes.” I keep my eyes on his, wondering what that has to do with him.

“I knew about him before.”

A lump rises in my throat. “What do you mean? I’ve never told anyone that story. Only my father.”

“I knew because when I was trying to find out what happened to my parents, I tracked things back to that event.”

I stare back at him open-mouthed. “What do you mean? What are you saying to me?”

“My father was at the same gallery hosting an exhibition for my mother. The hacker was trying to get to my father. I know about the code you put into the system. I believe the hacker was from the Malina. They used that code to track down my father in Greece, then they killed him and my mother.”

I bolt up, feeling bile rise into my throat. It burns, but nothing hurts more than the realization of what he’s trying to tell me.

I shake my head. “No. Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me that I…” I can’t say it.

My nerves feel like they're ripping apart strand by strand, and I cover my mouth as dark dread clamors up my chest.

My eyes meet his again, and the memories of the last few months flow into my mind. Every single one of them.

It started at that party when the freshman year began. That was when he said I was beneath him, and when we came back after the Christmas break, I caught him watching me. He looked like he wanted to kill me.

I took something from him I can’t give back.

His parents.

“It was me.” I mouth the words as a tear tips over my lids. “I helped the people who killed your parents. It’s because of me they're dead. It’s my fault.”

Saying the words outside my head feels like damnation, and I should be damned.

I remember when I first saw him. He was there at Raventhorn Academy because of me, and I never knew it.

He moved from his life in Orange County because of me.

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