Page 70 of His

It was the first good decision I’ve made in what feels like years.

I was nervous. Me, the guy who spent years running special ops in the military, then running black ops for Astor Stone (only to hurt my back and be discharged from further missions).

There was just something about the girl that spoke to me. Pulled me in.

When we got to my place, we ended up talking for an hour before going to the bedroom. Brittney has this sweet, innocent outlook on life. She’s a hard worker, an eternal optimist, and sees the best in people.

She reminded me of the type of woman I’d wanted my daughter to grow up to be—and that is something I haven’t been able to stop thinking of.

I wanted all that in my life. Her, and everything that came with her.

It was the first time I’d had sex since Valerie—and it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. After we finished, I wanted to wrap her up, put her in my pocket, and carry her around with me everywhere.

But then, Valerie’s face flashed behind my eyes, her threat echoing in my ear.

I’ll never forget that day. I was in New York, working in Astor’s penthouse, when she pulled me into the master bathroom. There, she told me that Chloe was mine, and that if I didn’t go along with it, she would tell Astor and he would kill me. For years, I worked for Astor sneaking peeks at the daughter I knew was mine, while watching another man raise her. Knowing that if that man found out, I was as dead as roadkill. When she was feeling generous, Valerie offered me little mementos from Chloe; pictures, finger paintings, an ornament she made in pre-school, but it didn’t help.

It ate a hole in my gut. The guilt of knowing I was deceiving the one man I looked up to, I admired. The regret of the decision I’d made with his wife.

I couldn’t eat.

I couldn’t sleep.

I became a closed-off hermit, rarely speaking to anyone, rarely leaving my apartment when not at work.

Then I met Brittney, and all the darkness seemed to float away. I felt happy. Real joy. Hope.

Then, it was gone. Next day, while at the beach house, Valerie started randomly calling out for Chloe. She hadn’t spoken her name in years. And I knew she was going to tell him our secret.

Looking back, I think I knew all along. You see, nothing gets past Astor Stone. Not forever anyway. I’ve been biding my time, living a nightmare of regret since that day.

For the last three months, I’ve been saving every penny while devising my getaway plan. A plan that didn’t involve dragging a sweet, innocent nurse down into the depths of hell with me. It was so hard to pretend that I didn’t care for her. But what was I supposed to do? I knew I was leaving. And I knew, at the end of the day, I was no good for her, anyway. Men like me, who have done the things I’ve done, don’t deserve love.

Astor will come for me, I know that, but I’m not going to make it easy on him.

In a matter of hours, I’ll be out of here.

Somewhere far away from my mistakes.

Forty-Six

Sabine

The moment Brittney’s car is out of sight, Astor gets out of the car. I have to run to catch up with him as he strides across the parking lot.

Astor pulls a thin silver tool from his pocket and picks the door lock in under ten seconds. Forgoing stealth and patience, he swings open the door and steps inside.

Heart racing, I glance over my shoulder before following him.

The apartment is tiny, scarcely furnished, and smells of must and mold. A loveseat sits in front of a television and a tarnished coffee table. A half-drunk bottle of beer sits in the middle. The dim orange glow from the security lights stream in through dirty, bare windows, pooling onto threadbare carpet. It’s just enough light to see around.

The scarcity of Leo’s belongings makes me sad as I picture the shy former soldier in my head. Leo lives a simple, solitary life. Not even a plant to care for.

Astor strides through the living room, checks the kitchen, then pivots to the short hallway that leads to the bedroom. There, he checks the closet and the bathroom.

“He’s not here,” I state the obvious, punctuating how nervous I am. “What now?”

“We turn this place upside down looking for anything of Chloe’s, especially an envelope or bag where he would have kept her lock of hair.”

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