Page 47 of His

“Give me the physical first.”

“She had a deep rattle cough and was running a fever yesterday. She also gets short of breath on occasion throughout the day.”

“During exertion?”

“No. Sometimes she’ll wake up and it seems like she’s struggling for air. But I’m not sure if it’s related to a bad dream—she gets them almost every night.”

“I’ll give her a full exam today, and will take blood and urine samples. Pending those results, we’ll take her in for additional testing.”

“Thanks. And Jackie? Did you talk to her?”

“Yep. She’ll be here soon. She’s prepared to stay full-time with Brittney, if she needs to. How is Brittney doing?”

I find myself hesitating. “She’s young.”

“You were young once, too, remember.”

I nod.

“Give her a chance. She was the top of her class. Now, tell me, how is Valerie doing mentally?”

I take a deep breath. “She’s confused more than usual, and slurs occasionally. And sometimes she sees things that aren’t there, and other times, appears confused about seeing things that are right in front of her.”

He nods. “Both are common with schizophrenia. Seventy percent of people living with the disease experience hallucinations. I know she’s aware of this, so that’s likely a part of her confusion— she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s fake.”

“Is there any way she could be exaggerating her symptoms?”

“You mean faking?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s highly unlikely, especially considering the dosage of medicine she’s on.” He pauses. “It’s a horrible disease, trust me. Has she opened up to anyone else?”

“Well, that’s the other thing. She says a few things to Jackie, as you know, but I also caught her whispering to Brittney. When I asked her what they were speaking about, she denied it.”

Squire spreads his palms as if he’s not surprised. “All part of it, Astor. But let me ask, this nonverbal thing is new right? Just in the last months?”

“Correct. She’s been off since losing our child years ago, but it seems exacerbated since the incident.”

“How so?”

“After Chloe died, Valerie hardly spoke Chloe’s name. Now, she’s calling out for her in her sleep, asking why. And the other day she wrote her name on the shower wall.”

Squire sucks in a breath. “That must be hard for you, too.”

“It’s hard for many reasons, one being that I feel like she knows something on a subconscious level and is trying to communicate it?—”

“You mean, regarding Chloe’s death? And the fact that you don’t think it was an accident?”

“Right.”

He pauses. “Be careful in trying to get her to open up more. Don’t push her, especially with something as traumatic as losing a child.”

I drag my fingers through my hair. “I know, I know, I just feel like there’s something there.”

“Astor, with the amount of medication she’s on, I wouldn’t put stock in anything she says. We need to get her stable before pressing for any concrete information.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder. “I know it’s tough, especially for someone like you who needs to feel in control in every situation. Your daughter’s death and everything surrounding it felt totally out of your control. Astor . . . I’ve told you a hundred times, I highly recommend that you begin seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist.”