Page 107 of Mine

“If you hate Astor so much, why did you stay with him? Why did you keep working for him after Chloe died?”

“Because he made it impossible to leave him!” she yells, unhinging right in front of me. “You, of all people, should understand that, Sabine. This is what he does. He manipulates or blackmails you, and you don’t even see it, and before you know it, you’re forever indebted to him.”

Astor’s and Prishna’s words echo through my head ...

“Prishna was on a downward spiral and had some major health issues when Valerie and I married. So, I opened my house to her and gave her a fresh start at life, offered her a job.”

“After recovering from the fire, I learned that Astor had paid my medical bills and had wiped my debt clean ... I’ve been working for him ever since.”

“But you see, Sabine,” Prishna says, “you can only be a prisoner if you’re unable to find an escape. Finally, I’ve found mine—and you’re it.”

“How?”

“You’ll see soon enough. Astor will go to the ends of the earth to find you, and I’m counting on that. And then, finally, I’ll be free.”

So, I’m bait.

Bait.

At the end of this crazy, insane journey, I’m still only bait. My entire life can be summed up in my being a means to an end.

Useless.

I realize then that this is my fate. I’ve been useless ever since I did nothing as two men broke into my home, driving my mother to a fatal heart attack.

I am still that useless little girl who didn’t stand up and be brave when I needed to. Who will die without ever making an impact on anyone’s life.

No one will remember me. In the end, Astor was right.

I was such a fool to think otherwise.

I drop my head on the seat and begin to cry.

Sixty-Five

Astor

I drive like a madman over the dirt roads, slicing through the sheets of rain, fishtailing around corners, almost blind by the rain streaking across my helmet. I am out-of-my-mind psychotic, a feral combination of rage and desperation driving me past the brink of insanity.

All I can think is, Sabine has to be okay.

She has to be.

I can’t lose her. Not now. Not before I’ve made things right. Not before giving her a chance to see who I can be for her.

Sabine can’t be Valerie. I can’t let another woman down. I can’t lose another person in my life without making things right.

Sabine can’t be my mother. I can’t lose the only other woman I’ve ever loved.

And finally, Sabine can’t be Chloe. I can’t lose the light of my life again.

I cannot fail her like I have everyone else in my wretched, warped, screwed-up excuse of a life.

Sabine has to be okay.

She has to be okay.

There can be no other outcome.

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