Page 99 of Mine

Astor is sitting on the floor, his knees up, leaning against the wall. He’s still in his tuxedo. His hair is mussed, his eyes bloodshot and sallow. He’s ghostly pale.

Astor might not have watched me from the armchair, but he never left me.

He surges up, his face riddled with nerves, sadness, and such desperation that my heart cracks.

“Astor.”

“Can I kiss you?” The question comes out breathless in one long word.

Tears fill my eyes. “Yes.”

“Oh, baby.” He cups my face in his hands, tears filling his eyes too.

The kiss is the kind of toe-curling, butterfly-inducing, sweep-you-off-your-feet kiss that leaves you dizzy and breathless. Like he’s a desperate, starving man, and I am his only nourishment.

There is no lust in this kiss, no feral need for intimacy. This kiss is wrapped in agony, in need, in gut-wrenching despair.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers between kisses, his voice cracking with emotion. “I am so, so, so sorry.”

His tears wet my cheeks.

“Me too. I’m sorry too.” I pull away. “Astor, thank you for the jewelry, but I?—”

“No.” He takes my hands. “Don’t thank me, and before you protest, you’re keeping it. All of it. I’ll buy the entire store if you want. I’ll do anything you want. Can I please talk to you? Will you talk to me?”

I nod, pulling in a breath to steady my racing heart.

“Sabine, I am so sorry. I apologize, with all my heart, for speaking to you that way.”

He squeezes my hands, and I can practically feel the pain radiating through the tips of his fingers.

“I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through, but more than that, I’m sorry for making you question, even for a second, my feelings for you and how much I love you. That’s what hurts the most. I have failed at being the man I should be and need to be for you. When I saw you that first time, it was like something in my soul recognized you as a vital piece of my existence. I can’t lose you.”

Tears roll down his cheeks.

“Just please—please give me a second chance. Please don’t leave me. Sabine, please. My beautiful butterfly, please don’t leave me.”

“Oh, Astor.” I release his hands and cup his cheeks. “I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you. We’re so screwed up, but I love you.”

I’m lifted off the floor and squeezed so tightly, it reminds me of a child hugging their mother.

“We’ll make it, okay?” he whispers in my ear. “I want to do this, with you. I want to make it work. Today is the first day, my sweet Sabine. Today, okay?”

Just then, Cillian appears at the end of the hallway.

Astor and I look at him and freeze.

The expression on his face is jarring. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

“Astor,” Cillian says. “We need to talk.”

Sixty

Sabine

“She’s alive.”

The two words detonate like a bomb between my ears.

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