Page 48 of Fragments of You

I move to go after her, but Felix stops me. I hadn’t even realized he had gotten out of the pool until his fingers closed around my forearm, holding me in place.

“Let her go,” he says, his words soft. “She needed to hear it.”

“This is your fault, you know!” I spin on him, jerking my arm out of his grasp. “If you hadn’t fed into this fantasy of hers, none of this would be happening.”

“Are you seriously blaming me for your sister’s behavior?” He arches a brow in confusion. “That was four years ago, Paisley. I never thought—”

“I know,” I cut him off with a huff. “I’m sorry. She just... God, she drives me crazy sometimes. I don’t even think it’s about you. I just think she wants me to be miserable. I don’t know what I ever did to her to make her resent me so much.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Felix reassures, gently taking my hand, rubbing his thumb along the back in slow circles. “Celine has always been a self-absorbed, narcissistic brat. You know that. She can’t stand it when the world doesn’t revolve around her.” He lets out a slow breath. “Did you know Nash was coming here?” He abruptly shifts the conversation.

“I had no idea. My parents haven’t said anything to me.”

“And Nash didn’t mention it yesterday?” He seems completely at ease, but I don’t miss the unmistakable tick of anger behind his façade.

“If he had, I would have told you.” I shake my head, pulling my hand away. “Where are my parents anyway?”

“They went to get dinner.”

“Dinner?” I blurt. “How long was I asleep?”

“For the better part of three hours.”

“And you didn’t wake me?”

“I wanted to let you rest. Besides, it gave me a chance to spend some time with your family, which I rather enjoyed until your mom and dad left and your sister decided to be a raging bitch.”

“Don’t call her that,” I bite. “She may be... difficult, but you don’t get to say things like that about her.”

“You’re right.” He takes a step back. “I’m sorry. She just has a way of pushing all the right buttons.”

“Oh, I know. She’s been doing it to me since she was little. It’s like her specialty. But you can’t listen to what she says. I’m convinced she’s an addict and drama is her drug.” A weird feeling slides through my chest at my words.

“You okay?” Felix doesn’t miss the change in my demeanor.

“Yeah, I just... I’m sorry. For my sister. For my parents. For all of it.”

“It’s not your fault. You can’t control other people’s actions.”

“No, but I can control my own. And there is something else I should tell you... About yesterday, I mean.” I drag my teeth across my bottom lip nervously.

“Okay...” His forehead crinkles in that way it does when he’s uncertain about something.

“You remember me telling you how I wrote Nash letters?”

“I recall you mentioning it a time or two.”

“That was before... You and me, you know...” I try to explain. “Anyways, I wrote him one every day for two years. Like, every single day. It was my way of trying to fill the void his absence had left in my life. Like if I could tell him how I was feeling, even if I wasn’t actually telling him, then it would help me move on. Eventually, the letters became less about missing him and more about how I was starting to feel things I didn’t think I’d ever feel again... For you,” I needlessly explain. “I wrote my last letter the day before I kissed you that first time.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I gave the letters to Nash. I needed him to understand what him leaving did to me. I needed him to see that you are the only reason I’m still standing here. I thought if he could hear it in my own words as it was happening, then maybe he would understand.”

“Understand what exactly?”

“Why I will never choose him.”

I can’t easily explain the array of emotions that cross Felix’s face. He blows out a slow, heavy sigh like he was holding his breath the entire time I was talking.