Page 20 of Fragments of You

“Fuck Felix.”

“No, fuck you. Felix is the only reason I’m still standing here.”

I can tell my words have an impact, despite how hard he tries to mask it. If he were anyone else, maybe I wouldn’t see it, but with Nash, I know his tells almost better than I know my own.

“You don’t know him like you think you do.”

“You don’t know him at all. Not anymore. You can’t come back here after four years and expect that we’re all just the same people we were when you left. We aren’t.”

“So he hasn’t told you anything.” He shakes his head, both a realization and a statement like he already knew something and I’ve just confirmed it.

“What are you talking about? Felix and I don’t keep things from each other.”

“If only you knew just how wrong you are about that.”

“Leave, Nash. Or I’ll call the police.” I move to close the window, but his next words stop me dead in my tracks.

“I called him. Every month for the last three years, I have called him to check up on you.”

My chest grows so tight, I struggle to pull in a breath, my muscles constricting in a way that makes me feel like I’m suddenly supporting a crushing weight that I’m not sure my body can hold up.

“You... you called?” The ground beneath my feet feels unstable.

He nods.

“Please come down. You really need to hear what I have to say.”

I consider this for a long moment.

I know I shouldn’t.

I should close this window and call Felix. He should be the one to give me the truth. But if what Nash is saying actually happened, maybe I can’t rely on Felix to give me the whole truth.

“I need a few minutes,” I tell Nash. “I’ll meet you at the rocks. You remember where?”

“Like I could ever forget.” A trace of a smile graces his full lips.

“I’ll see you there.” Without waiting for him to respond, I close the window, my mind moving a million miles a second.

If I do this, if I hear what he has to say, it could change everything. And after years of going to sleep wishing I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, I’m finally happy again. Do I really want to risk everything on someone who’s already wrecked me once? Is the truth really worth it?

It’s a stupid question really. Of course it is.

The truth is what’s real. And if Felix and I have any shot at the future we’re trying to plan, I have to know everything. Even if I have to face Nash Ketter to get it.

Chapter Six

Paisley

Six Years Earlier

“NASH,” I CALL OUT SOFTLY as I reach the clearing of the trees that opens to a rocky incline.

When he doesn’t answer right away, I’m not sure if he’s here, but knowing Nash, I can’t imagine he’d go anywhere else.

When he didn’t come to school today, I knew something was wrong. He never misses without telling me first. But not only did he not tell me, I haven’t heard a single word from him since last night, and for us, that is saying something, considering he has texted me good morning every single day for the last four years.

Pretty much ever since my parents got us cell phones for Christmas. Because, of course, they couldn’t get me one without getting Nash one. I think they were tired of me taking up the landline, but also, I think they like knowing Nash has a way of reaching me if things get bad with his dad. They would never say as much, but I’m perceptive enough to read between the lines.

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