Page 14 of Fragments of You

“Halfway through my sophomore year of college, my roommate overdosed. I found her.” She looks down at the ground for a long moment. “I didn’t even know she used outside of the occasional pot, but apparently, she was really good at hiding it. Sounds kind of like someone else I know.” She gives me a pointed look. “Anyway,” she quickly continues before I can say anything. “She went to rehab, and I made a point to visit her when I could. Imagine my surprise when I show up one day and see Nash Ketter, of all people, sitting across the room.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“I know, because you were so consumed with whatever you were writing in that journal, I don’t think I saw you lift your head even once.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t know how long it had been going on or how deep into rehab you were. I didn’t want to upset what I know can be a very delicate balance. You moved two states away to go to rehab when there are several in the state of Georgia. I figured there was a reason for that.”

“Yeah, it was free.” I snort out a humorless laugh. “And it was far enough away that I couldn’t easily get back here if it didn’t work. Speaking of telling people, why didn’t you tell Paisley?”

“It wasn’t my place. I wanted to, trust me. But I knew if I did, there would have been no stopping her from going to you. And since you clearly knew you needed to do this on your own, I didn’t want to be the reason you failed. How long were you there anyway?”

“Which time?” I ask, feeling suddenly a lot less annoyed by her presence. I really did always like Iris. She was Paisley’s best friend, after all, which means she was around a lot.

“I see. I guess the better question is, how long have you been clean?”

“Almost a year.”

“And it took you that long to come back?”

“I wanted to make sure it would stick.”

“And has it?”

“Well, I just found out my best friend and my girl are engaged to be married and haven’t drowned myself in a pill, bottle, or fifth of whiskey yet, so there’s that. The day is still young, though.” I let out a humorless laugh.

“You want to go to a meeting? I know of a few around here.” She chuckles at the look I give her. “I’ve been sober since I found Trina. Not a single drop of alcohol. I may not have been an addict, but staying sober in this society, where alcohol is so normalized, it takes a lot of willpower. Sometimes it helps me to hear others’ stories, reminds me why I do it.”

“Well, if you need a reason why, you don’t have to go to a meeting. The stories I could tell you would make you never look at drugs or alcohol the same.”

“That bad?”

“When I left here, I didn’t feel like I could get worse. Fuck, was I wrong. Not only did I get worse, but there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get my next fix. And I do mean, nothing.”

“Nash...”

I didn’t think it was possible to render someone like Iris speechless, but I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn’t know what to say.

“Why are you and Paisley not friends anymore?” I ask in lieu of continuing our current conversation, circling back to her comment about things changing.

“We’re not not friends. We’re just not really close anymore. When you left, she basically disappeared. I think I saw her once before I left for college. For a year, she barely took my calls, and when she did, she never really said much. We just... drifted apart, I guess.”

“When did you move back to town?”

“A couple of months ago. It wasn’t really the plan, but then my dad got sick, and well, here I am.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He passed two weeks after I came home.”

“Fuck, Iris. I’m sorry. I always liked your dad.”

“Yeah, thanks. It’s been hard, but we’re managing. I couldn’t imagine leaving my mom after that, so I decided to make the move permanent.” She shrugs. “What about you? You here for good or just passing through?”

“I’m honestly not sure. I came back to clear out this place. Decided it was time to put it on the market. Figured I’d see where things stand with Paisley and let that be the deciding factor. I was fully prepared to learn that she had moved on, and a part of me hoped for it because then it meant she was able to find happiness without me, no matter how fucking much the thought hurt. But seeing her with Felix...” I grind my back molars, letting my anger mask the utter sadness I feel.

“How long has he known why you left?”

---