Page 11 of Fragments of You

“I was just thinking... Do you think maybe he came back for you?”

Her words send my already fragile state of mind reeling even further. I hadn’t for a second considered it, until now, that is. Though, that’s probably wishful thinking... I shake off the thought before it has time to take hold.

There is nothing wishful about Nash being here. Even if he did come back for me, which I seriously doubt given how he left and how long he’s been gone, there’s no way we could ever reclaim what we had, not after the way he hurt me. Besides, I’m with Felix now.

I wish I could say that made things more concrete in my heart, but that would be a lie. Because no matter how deeply I care for Felix, Nash claimed something when I was just six years old that, to this day, I don’t feel like I ever got back. I know that sounds ridiculous, all things considered, but I’ve carried a hollowness with me since the day he left, and no matter how many of my broken parts Felix has pieced back together, that empty feeling has remained. I’ve pretty much accepted that it’s a part of who I am now.

“If he did,” I finally say after too long, “then he’s wasted his time because that ship has long since sailed.”

“Has it?”

I draw back, surprised by her bluntness. Then again, this is my mother we’re talking about.

“Did you seriously just ask me that?” I don’t even try to hide the irritation in my tone.

“I’m just saying, honey, you and Nash... What you two shared, it doesn’t come around every day.”

“What we shared, being the optimal word. Past tense. What we had is long gone. He made sure of that. Besides, I thought you hated Nash.”

“I hate what he did to you. I hate how badly he hurt you. But hating what he did and hating him as a person are two very different things.”

My parents, my father mainly, have never truly supported Felix’s and my relationship, so it makes total sense that she would seize this opportunity to try to push me back toward Nash, who she and my father always looked at as the son they never had. Hell, he practically grew up at my house, so I guess it makes sense that they would feel that way, but it’s never explained their issue with Felix.

So yes, he had a bit of a reputation in high school, but he’s not that man now, any more than I’m the same girl I was four years ago. Nash leaving didn’t just change me, it changed Felix, too, in a way I never could have foreseen.

They would never outright say they don’t care for Felix or that they wish I wouldn’t marry him. In that way, they’ve been nothing but supportive. But I can feel it, hidden behind forced smiles and fake pleasantries, no matter how hard they try to pretend it isn’t there.

That’s one of the reasons I agreed when Felix wanted to start having them over for dinners and stuff, so that they could hopefully get to know him better and see what an incredible person he actually is.

“Well, I hate him enough for all of us...” I finish the last fork, then drop it in the rinse sink.

“I’m sorry if I upset you. That wasn’t my intention.” My mother shifts so she’s facing me fully.

“Felix is an incredible man. Maybe if you took the time to actually get to know him, you’d see that. Nash is the past. That man”—I look at Felix for a long moment before turning back to my mother—“that man is my future.”

“I only said anything because of what you said earlier at the dress shop, about things being different with Felix than they were with Nash.”

“You’re right. I did confide in you, and I’m seeing maybe that was a mistake. But as you pointed out, it doesn’t have to feel the same. Young love is different. Isn’t that what you said?”

“It is.”

“So you’re telling me that if Charlie came back after you met Dad and said he wanted you back that you would have left Dad for him.”

“Of course not.”

“Then why can’t you accept that I’m making the same choice by choosing Felix?”

“I do accept it.”

“You’ve always been a terrible liar, Mother. I know you don’t like Felix.”

“That’s not true.”

“Really? You think I don’t know that you and Dad are going to discuss what a big mistake I’m making the entire drive home? That man has done nothing but bend over backward to earn your affection, and even though he quite literally brought your daughter back from the dead, you still can’t give it to him.”

“We have done nothing but support this relationship.”

“Yeah, really supportive you’ve been.” I let out an audible sigh.

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