Page 71 of Fragments of You

“You’ve done nothing wrong. This is on me. This entire mess, it’s all my doing.”

“No, it isn’t.” The way he looks at me immediately sends worry tingling through my limbs. “I need to tell you something, Paisley.”

The silence that follows that statement feels so heavy I’m suffocated by it.

“Something, I’m afraid, you’ll never be able to forgive.”

A billion scenarios run through my head, but the one I seem to stick to is that something more must have happened last night before Celine picked him up. I never in a million years would have dreamed that Felix would cheat on me, but with the way he’s looking at me, I can’t imagine it could be anything else.

“I’ve been living with this secret for so long.”

Okay, so he didn’t cheat on me last night. My brain grapples to come up with some other alternative, something that could be bad enough that he thinks it’s unforgivable.

“When Nash threatened to tell you...”

My stomach bottoms out.

“I panicked. I pushed you away. I made you feel like you were the one doing something wrong when in reality, it’s been me all along. It’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out, and you deserve to hear it from me. I owe you that much.”

“Felix, what are you talking about?” My voice sounds unfamiliar as if someone else had spoken and not me.

“I need you to know that this was before you and I were ever anything... Had I known that there was even a chance for us, I would have never...”

“Felix, what are you talking about?” I repeat more forcefully, my heart beating inside my esophagus rather than in my chest, choking on my words.

“I’ve loved you for a lot longer than I ever led on. Hell, I’ve always loved you. But you were always with Nash. I had no reason to believe that would ever change. If I had...” He shakes his head. “I never would have slept with Celine.” He says the words so fast, I’m certain I heard him wrong.

“What?” I croak.

“I slept with your sister, Paisley. And I’m so fucking sorry I did. But it was before us. I swear it.”

“You...” I break off, not even sure what to say.

“I lied when I said I was just her first kiss. I was also her first...”

“You. Slept. With. Celine,” I repeat each word slowly.

“I need you to know, I ended it the moment I thought you and I could be something more.”

“You slept with my sister.” I say it again, trying to make it make sense.

“I cut ties with her the night you kissed me for the first time.”

I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to spill my own vomit onto the floor.

“How long?” Shock morphs to anger in a single breath.

“What?” He seems confused by the question.

“How long were you sleeping with her?”

He looks down at his hands that are knotted tightly in front of him.

“How long!?” My voice echoes around the room.

“Two years,” he softly admits, and I swear the floor opens up beneath me as the true realization starts to click into place.

“Two years?” I snarl, grinding my teeth together so hard it’s a wonder my molars don’t crack in half. “She’s three years younger than us. Three years, Felix! Which means she was how old when this started?” I ask even though I already know the answer, given that I’ve already done the math in my head.

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