Page 39 of Fragments of You

“Felix saw us. He made eye contact with Nash and then made a show of kissing you in front of him. He’s purposely rubbing you in his face. Surely you see that.”

“Of course you would take his side. Because apparently, you two are friends now.” I use my fingers to put air quotations around the word friends.

“We are, actually. Because, believe it or not, Nash is hurting and he needs someone. And since his best friend is otherwise occupied...”

“You’re kidding me, right? You, of all people, know what that man did to me. I don’t care what he’s been through. He made his own bed and now he has to lie in it.”

“He was wrong for leaving you the way he did, I’ll admit. But at the end of the day, he was just trying to protect you.”

“Don’t feed me that bullshit. He lied to me, over and over again, and then he left with no real explanation. If he was truly doing it for me, he would have told me the truth and let me help him.”

“Some things aren’t always that simple,” she argues.

“Yes, they are actually.”

“And you think Felix hasn’t lied to you?”

“Not this again.” I toss my hands up. “Yes, I know he knew about Nash and kept the truth from me. But Felix was actually protecting me.”

“You’re so naïve it’s laughable.” She grips the steering wheel with both hands.

“Last time I checked, we aren’t really friends anymore. So please don’t pretend like you understand anything about my life or my relationship with Felix. Because you don’t.”

“Whose fault is that? Because it surely isn’t mine!” Her words feel like a slap across the face, no matter how true they may be.

“Just get me home and we can be done with this. You and Nash can go do whatever the fuck it is you’re doing, and I will return to what was a very happy relationship before Nash showed up and messed it all up.”

“You have no idea how much Nash loves you. You have no idea what he went through trying to fight his way back to you. You’re too absorbed by your own pain to see that you’re not the only one who’s hurting.”

“And I’m sure you know all about what he went through, huh? Because you two are so close now.”

“Actually, I know a fair bit. And let me just tell you, it’s not good.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do.” She calls me on my bluff. “Because despite everything, when you look at him, all you see is how much you still love him.”

“Ha!” I smack my knee dramatically.

“Blowjobs,” she randomly blurts.

“What?” I sneer, looking at her like she’s mental.

“Nash would give other men blowjobs for money so that he could buy drugs.”

My stomach drops clean out of my body—or at least that’s what it feels like. I stare at her profile, unable to believe the words she’s saying.

“No, he didn’t,” I croak.

“Yes, he did. Complete fucking strangers.”

I feel like someone has just flipped me upside down and left me dangling from the ceiling, all the blood in my body rushing to my head, making me feel lightheaded.

“I don’t believe you.” My voice barely breaks the surface.

“He said he can’t remember how many times it was. So many that he lost count.”

“Stop.” The image is too disturbing to even wrap my head around. The fact that Nash would do anything even remotely close to that is so far outside of the person I know him to be it feels impossible.

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